ANS jokes

What do you call an epileptic kid?

Little Seizures.

When a girl was having an asthma attack, Ariana said, "Just keep breathing and breathing and breathin!!!!!"

How do you call a virgin girl in Alabama? An orphan.

What is an orphan's favorite movie?

Home Alone.

What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?

An apple gets picked.

What do you call an orphan's selfie?

A family portrait.

By the way, could you tell me an elevator pun? I can't seem to "come up" with one myself.

A man walking on his roof, carrying an axe. He drops it on someone below him and says, "Sorry, it was an axe-cident!"

What do you call a fish without an eye? Fsh.

It is now legal to bully an orphan.

What are they going to do? Tell their parents?

Why can't an orphan play baseball?

Because he can't find home.

Me: I used to laugh at Skyrim jokes like you, then I took an...

Everyone Else: DON'T...FUCKING...SAY IT.

Yo mama so ugly, Bloody Mary handed her an application through the mirror.

What's an orphan's favorite Roblox game?

Adopt Me.

Why do orphans that go to their friend's house get this reaction from the friend's mom:

"Go back to your house, it's late." "Finn, wait, can I have your mom's phone number?" "Finn, wait, aren't you an orphan?" "Wait, don't you have a phone, Finn?" "Wait, I forgot, you don't have a phone because nobody wanted to get you a phone or to get you."

Why can't orphans play baseball? They don’t know where home is.

I made a website for orphans, but it doesn't have a home page.

Doctor: I’m going to have to turn you away. Orphan: But why? Doctor: Because I’m a family doctor.

Why do orphans like boomerangs? Cause they come back.

Why do orphans become criminals? To know what it’s like to be wanted.

Girls are like rocks; the flat ones get skipped.

What’s an orphan’s least favorite TV show? Family Guy.

If you hit an orphan, what are they going to do? Tell their parents?

If you hit an orphan with a car, at least you don't have to tell their parents.

Why did the orphan go to church? So he had someone to call Father.

What does an orphan call a family photo? A selfie.

Why was the orphan a big success? Cause people say go big or go home, he only had one option.

Why is it ok to hit an orphan? It’s not like they can tell their parents.

What’s an orphan’s least favorite store? Home Depot.

What do orphans and blind kids have in common? They can’t see their parents.

Why can't orphans hear about ancient Egypt? Because they don’t know what a mummy is.

Why are orphans bad at poker? Because they don't know what a full house is.

What do you call a virgin from Alabama? An orphan.

Have you heard about the animal that was made of a human hand?

It's an ARMadillo.

How does an octopus laugh? Buble buble.

I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high.

She looked at me surprised.

(P.S. I am not at that age plus I am as straight as a helix ruler.)

How do you make an eight-year-old girl cry twice?

Wipe your bloody cock off on her favorite teddy bear after you’ve raped her.