ANS jokes
Why'd the alternate universe Spider-Man do so well on his driving test? He's an excellent parallel Parker.
I ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon....I'll let you know.
What do you call an apartment full of black people?
A CON-dominium.
Q. What's the difference between pizza and an emo?
A. The pizza doesn't cut itself.
What do you call an orphan’s family reunion?
Me time.
What do you call a beehive without an exit? Un-bee-lievable!
What do you call an autistic person playing a guitar?
Guarded.
I was reading a great book about an immortal dog the other day.
It was impossible to put down.
What do you call an orphan who takes a selfie?
A family portrait.
What do you call an Indian in a shower?
A cleaner.
How do you make an emo jump? Tell him to go to the roof.
Should I kill the main character's best friends in my book? It's an autobiography.
Why can't an orphan play baseball?
Because they can't go home.
There was an exam music quiz question about Gary Glitter. Now, if there's anyone you don't want to associate with the phrase "shh, turn over, you've got an hour," it's him.
Shit, my bad. I should leave him alone, he just wants to settle down and have kids.
Today, I filmed an unboxing video at my friend's funeral.
His parents weren't too happy.
If an emo kid and the quiet kid had a fight, the quiet kid would win because the emo kid would hang himself to death.
What is an orphan's favorite game?
Solitaire.
My friend thinks he is smart. He told me an onion is the only food that makes you cry, so I threw a coconut at his face.
What's an astronaut's favorite game? Space-ball!
What's the difference between a puppy and an orphan?
Puppies get adopted.