ANS jokes
What do you call a bunch of white people in an elevator?
A box of crackers.
How do you get a nun pregnant?
Dress her up as an altar boy.
A pedophile is at a school parent night. He's holding hands with an eight-year-old girl when he's approached by another parent. She says to him, "Oh, what a darling little girl you have there." The pedophile replies, "No," then points his finger to a child across the room and says, "That's my child."
For 15 cents a day, you can feed an African child. They eat spare change, I guess.
What’s the difference between a mother and a fetus at an abortion office?
Only one of them is scared.
A man walks into a bar and sees a jar of ten dollar bills, so he asks the bartender if it's a jar of tips. The bartender says no, it's for a bet. So the man asks what the bet is and the bartender says, "Well, if you put ten dollars into the jar then knock out the bouncer, next you go outside and remove a rotten tooth out of the rottweiler's mouth, and last you go upstairs and give an orgasm to the fat lady who has never had one. If you can do all those things then you get everything in the jar as well as free drinks for the month." So the guy puts in ten dollars, turns to the guy next to him and knocks him out with one punch. Then the guy continues outside, all you hear for an hour is screaming and whining from the dog. When all is silent, the man walks in and asks, "So where is the fat lady with the tooth?"
If you are talking to an Indian and notice a red dot appear on their forehead, be careful of what you said... They are recording it down... Careful... (no offense) pure joke.
Why did the little boy cross the road multiple times?
He stepped on an IED after being mutilated on a chopping block that was on fire with a table saw and multiple gallows which were infested with flaming termites with splotches of blood all over him from his eyes after they were squashed with a brick.
Where is an elephant’s penis?
On their feet, because if you get trampled on, you’re fucked.
What do you call a flying octopus?
An octocopter! 🚁
What is black and white and red all over? An exploding zebra!
What do you call an orphan taking a family photo?
A selfie.
Two muffins are in an oven. One muffin says to the other, "Man, it's hot in here!"
The other muffin says, "OH MY GOSH A TALKING MUFFIN!!!!"
There was a cowboy riding in a desert when he saw a little girl up ahead. He heard her crying, so he went up to her and climbed down from his horse and asked her: "Hey, what's going on? Why do you cry? Where are your parents? What happened?"
The girl said in a crying, sad voice, "The Indians came, killed my father and my mother, and raped my sister."
The cowboy just laughed, unlocked his belt, and pulled his trousers down and said, "Guess it isn't your day, is it?"
What does an apple and a gay person have in common?
Both fruits hang in trees out in the Middle East.
A Muslim enters a building...
Along with 500 passengers and an airplane.
So an orphan was crying in a corner in the dark. Then a man came over and asked, "Why are you crying?"
Then said, "Do you want me to get your parents?"
How do you blow up an Indian? Press the red dot in the middle of their forehead!
🤣😂😆😁
What's the difference between a dead baby and an orange?
I don't keep a trash bag full of oranges in my basement.
I pushed an orphan in a wheelchair into a fire and yelled, "Hot wheels!"