ANS jokes
Why can’t you kidnap an orphan?
Because you can’t steal what was never wanted in the first place.
Your mom is so fat that when she stood on a scale, it said, "We need an actual person, not an elephant!"
I made a website for orphans.
Sadly, it doesn't have a homepage.
What is an orphan's favorite game? Sims, so they can make a family to have.
An apple a day keeps the doctor away...
Or at least it does if you throw it hard enough.... 🥵🤣
What do you get when you cross a chicken and a horse?
An animal abuse warrant.
My friend said an apple a day keeps the orphan away. I said only if you throw it hard enough.
Yo mama so fat, when she sat on the iPod...
SHE MADE THE IPAD!!!!!!!
People are like trees...
If you hit them with an ax multiple times, they'll fall over.
The wine taster at an old vineyard died. A homeless guy, looking ragged and dirty, came to apply. He persuaded the manager to give him a try.
The guy was given a glass of wine. He swirled, smelled, sipped, and spit. “It's a red wine, Merlot, three years old, grown on the South Slope and matured in oak barrels,” he said. "Impressive," said the manager.
The man is given another. “Still a red wine, Cabernet, eight years old, from the Northeast slope, stored in steel vats.”
The manager was amazed. He winked at his secretary. The secretary understood and brought out a glass of urine. The drunkard tasted it and said, “It's a blond, 27 years old, three months pregnant, and if I don't get this job, I'll tell who the father is!”
What does an apple and an orphan have in common?
One gets picked.
Mom: Let's have an adoption party!
Kid: *cries*
Mom: What's wrong?
Kid: I'M ADOPTED????
What do you call an orphan you put into a volcano with a wheelchair?
Hot Wheels.
Why do orphans want to be criminals? Because they want to feel what it’s like to be wanted.
An infinite amount of mathematicians walked into a bar. The first ordered a pint, the second ordered a half pint, the third ordered a fourth-pint, etc. The Bartender eventually walked up and gave them two pints and said: "You mathematicians don't know your limits."
How could the German people fall for Hitler and the Nazis?
There were an awful lot of red flags!
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
Apples get picked.
Why is it ok to hit an orphan? It’s not like they can tell their parents.
Why do orphans love boomerangs? Because they come back.
What instrument can a skeleton not play? An organ!
What instrument can a skeleton play? A Trombone!
I called an orphan Spiderman because he's "no way home."