ANS jokes
What do an abortion and a baby have in common?
The mom doesn't want either of them.
People are like trees...
They fall down when you hit them multiple times with an axe.
Yo momma decided to go to KFC until she realized she had to share with her family, so she bought ten buckets and the cashier said, "Here is the receipt." Now yo momma got afraid of how much money she had to spend, despiting on how she spent more than Drake's net worth that he can even lend. She went back home seeing her family looking at her and the KFC, thinking that could be her rent, but the whole family dug into the food. By the second they see the plates empty and seeing the lazy mom steady, she ate so much she wasn't ready until she fell, which caused an earthquake, which made her go to jail, which caused her to be scary.
What does a foreigner say when he comes to America?
I don't know, I don't speak foreignish...
If you ever get bored, tell an orphan to take two days off their calendar. If they ask why, say, "Because you're missing Father's Day and Mother's Day."
What do you call sex in the World Trade Center?
An inside job.
Why is it ok to hit an orphan?
It's not like they can tell their parents.
What does an orphan have that a homeless person doesn’t?
A home, but what does a homeless person have that orphans don’t?
A parent.
Why did the teacher get the death penalty? Because she gave an orphan homework. That's on period. #darkhumor
What do you call a girl who is thirsty for water?
An H2hoe.
Everyone says Kenny has an easy life.
I disagree. I hear his mom likes complicated sex positions.
So a girl says, "You're so ugly to me," and she says, "I’m the prettiest girl." I say, "Yeah, a pretty girl for an ogre 👹!"
How can you tell if an ant is a boy or a girl?
If it sinks it’s a girl. If it floats, it’s boy-ant (buoyant).
My son said he burnt food on accident, so I told him he was an accident.
How do you get a nun pregnant?
You dress her up as an altar boy.
Why can’t you give an orphan homework?
Because they don’t have a home to do it in.
Roses are red, Lemons are sour; Lift your skirt up and give me an hour.
What do you call it when an Arab girl has an abortion?
Removing a bomb.
An astronomer walked up to me and I was like, "Give me some space..."
Are you getting the funnies?
So I was doing a project in my class and my teacher asked me to give an example of allusion, which is referencing something else with a word.
So I answered, “Jane 9/11ed her little sister's Jenga kit!”
The principal's office smells nice.