ANS jokes
I had a disability where I kept pronouncing my "g" as an "r", so one day, I said I liked grapes. Of course, I pronounced it "I like rapes." I was kicked out of preschool.
Why is there no medication in Africa?
Because doctors advised, "You don't take it on an empty stomach."
Do trees pee?
How else do we have No. 1 pencils?
My entire family "TAKE THIS GIRL TO AN ASYLUM!!!"
Me "OH NO" 💀
Did you know that if you die you can still be a part of family game night!
All you have to do is have your family cremate you and put you in an hour glass, and the games that use hour glasses, well, you will be a part of family game night.
Why did Peter Parker take Gwen Stacy to an orthopedist?
Because her neck was killing her.
What did the person say to the orphan?
"Where are your parents?"
Why can't an orphan watch T.V.?
Because it can't find the home button.
What bumps up and down at 100km an hour?
A baby tied to the back of a speeding truck.
Have you heard about the animal that was made of a human hand?
It's an ARMadillo.
What do you call an orphan home alone?
A family reunion.
What do you call an Indian person who is not starving? Dead.
Why shouldn't orphans get a phone?
They would get stuck in an app because they can't find the home button.
What happened when the corn got scolded? He got an earful!
I joined an emo class today. The first lesson I learned was slice and dice and let it flow.
What's the difference between an orphan and a second-hand book?
The second-hand book was loved once.
What is an orphan's least favorite store? Home Depot.
If I looked like Stephen Hawking, I would also be an atheist.
What's the difference between the Twin Towers and an ugly woman?
The Twin Towers got fucked.
Satanism is such an ugly word. I prefer the term, "red skin appreciation."
What do a gay man and an ambulance have in common?
They both take it in the back and go “whoot whoot.”