ANS jokes
I’d say Leo is as sharp as a marble, but that would be an insult to marbles.
Girl, come here, my parents aren't home.
Orphan: Mine are never.
Q: What does a slice of pizza and an F grade have in common?
A: They're both cheesy.
What does an electric-type Pokémon say when they get gassy while drinking milk?
I’m Zaptos intolerant!
How do you get a nun pregnant? Dress her up like an altar boy.
Why can't an orphan be friends with Dom Toretto?
Dom doesn't have friends; he has "family."
How to make an orphan's feet bleed? Make them run in place until their parents get them.
An old man is sitting on a park bench, crying his eyes out. A jogger stops, feels bad for him, and asks, "Sir, what's wrong?"
The old man sobs, "I'm 85 years old. I have a 25-year-old wife at home who is a supermodel. She cooks me gourmet meals every day, she keeps the house spotless, and we spend every night in total, passionate bliss."
The jogger looks confused. "Wait... that sounds amazing! Why are you crying?"
The old man looks up, tears streaming down his face, and wails: "I can't remember where I live!"
Asian kid: I’m not a doctor, and I’m not good at math.
Me: That’s what I call an orphan!
What’s the difference between an onion and a viola?
No one cries when they cut up the viola.
What’s the difference between a leaf and an emo kid falling out of a tree? The leaf reaches the ground.
"Confucius say: Man go asy, full retard. It's an art, a weapon, and a lifestyle. Once you go full retard, there is no going back."
What do you call it when an Arab girl has an abortion?
Removing a bomb.
What do you get when Glen fucks an orange?
Adam.
What do you use to strap an eagle's nest together?
An eagle-lastic band!
If an orphan takes a photo... Well done! It's a family photo!
Can an orphan go to a family restaurant?
What do you call an Asian in a wheelchair? Sum Ting Wong.
What do you call an IT teacher that touches his students?
A PDF file.
Asians love it when a British person says "Race!"