ANS jokes
What's the difference between an emo and my clothes?
My clothes don't hang themselves.
What is an emo's least favorite game?
Cut the rope.
Me: "What's the difference between an apple and an emo?"
Friend: "I don't know."
Me: An apple actually falls from the tree.
What do you call an orphan taking a picture?
A family portrait.
What's red, green, and goes 90 miles an hour?
A frog in a blender.
If you have an overdose on a drug and die, then the lethal dose would be a lifetime supply.
Why don't you fart in an Apple Store?
Because they don't have any Windows.
What's worse than having an honorary degree from Harvard? Being homeless and having an honorary degree from Harvard.
What's the difference between an anal and oral thermometer?
The taste.
Jimmy does stand up comedy. He says, "What do you call an orangutan?"
Jake replies, "YOU!" Then everyone, including the teacher, laughs. Jimmy cries.
LOL
How many white police officers does it take to push an African-American gentleman down the stairs?
Push?! He fell...
What’s the best thing about dating an orphan?
You don’t need parental consent.
What does an orphan call a family photo?
A wishlist.
I regret my abortion.
I didn’t know child labor was an option.
What do you call an autistic person? Names.
I'm autistic myself, so don't go crying in my comment section.
I bought an orphan kid an iPhone.
Guess what? It had no home button.
A dick has a sad life. His hair's a mess, his family is nuts, his neighbor's an asshole, his best friend's a pussy, and his owner beats him.
I was at an emotional wedding. The cake was in tiers.
Roses are red, violets are blue.
YOU HAVE AN ARRANGED MARRIAGE WAITING FOR YOU...
What do you call an acid with a bad attitude?
A-Mean-O-Acid.