Animal jokes
Hey, you there, were you raised on a chicken farm? 'Cause you really know how to raise a cock!
A polar bear walks into a bar, asks the barman, “A pint of lager................. and a packet of crisps.”
The barman asks, “Why the large pause?”
My joke: You have to guess, answers come at 3:00. Why did the cow jump into space?
Hint... it smelled its favorite food 🍱 and saw its future!
That hint was technically the whole answer. Can you guess in 3 hours? Lol, I will be posting every time, and my giveaway starts at 5:00: my mega fly ride bat dragon 🐉 and five jungle eggs.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
IDK! WHY?
To go see yo mama!
What is a school shooter's favorite animal?
A Desert Eagle.
I put my fish on a leash so I could teach him to walk. Then I took him out for a walk. Then, when I put him back in the tank, he stopped moving.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Cow.
Cow who?
Silly cows go moo!
A doctor slept with one of his patients and thought to himself, "This is wrong, but some doctors do it..." He is a vet.
What makes a raccoon 🦝 very rich?
Its rings!
Man: Knock, knock...
Boy: Who's there?
Man: Bear...
Boy: Bear who?
Man: Bear bottom.
Why would you not let an elephant sleep in the same bed with you?
Because they stink and now the room smells like elephant shit.
A grasshopper walked into a bar and sat down at the counter.
The bartender looked at him and said, "We have a drink named after you." The grasshopper replied, "Who names a drink Steve?"
The pinnacle of loyalty is that an ant married an elephant, and after he died, she spent her entire life burying him :)
My favorite animal is a cheetah, so I hope the jokes are good.
Friend: I have the eye of the tiger.
Me: So what? I have the balls of a gorilla.
Parents: We can't come back to the zoo next week!
What do you call a fish with no legs?
Fsh have no legs.
What do you do with legs?
Fsh have no legs.
What do you do with legs?
Break!
A young boy asked his Dad, "Was it true that we come from a Stork?"
Dad said, "It is, Son."
Son says, "Who fucks a Stork?"
What kind of star will come out in the daytime?
A starfish! 🐟🐠🐡🦐🦞🦀🦑🐙🦂
Why did the koala cross the road to get to the other gum tree?
A dog walked into a tavern and said, “I can’t see a thing. I’ll open this one.” The humor of it is probably related to the Sumer way of life (and has been lost), but the words remain.