Animal jokes
What kind of bee can't fly?
A KOBE.
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef.
What do you call a cow with 3 legs?
Lean beef.
What do you call a cow with 2 legs?
Your mom.
Why don't you ever see hippos hiding in trees? Because they are really good at it.
Why did the chicken cross the road? cuz he saw a chic 😉
I love eating pussy. That’s why the animal shelter is always my go-to for a good meal.
Donkeys are cool.
What cow can part water? Mooses.
A shark can swim faster than me, but I can run faster than a shark.
So in a triathlon, it would all come down to whoever can ride a bike the fastest.
Where do animal does Russian milk come from?
"Moscows".
Why didn't the koala make the finals? It got diskoalafied.
How do you get a Koala to fall asleep?
Sing a koala-by.
What happened to the fly on the toilet seat?
It got pissed off.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the gay man's house.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
The chicken.
Can a kangaroo jump higher than the Empire State Building? Of course. The Empire State Building can't jump.
Why shouldn’t you play basketball with a pig?
Because he’s a ball hog.
yo mama so fat she went swimming with the whales and sang "weeeeeee areeeee fammmilllyyyyy!!!!!!!"
Teacher: What does a pig give you?
Little Johnny: Bacon.
Teacher: Good, what does the sheep give you?
Little Johnny: Wool.
Teacher: What does the fat cow give you?
Little Johnny: Homework and says "leave motherf*cker".
When I was teaching my dog tricks, a Chinese man came to me and asked, "Why were you playing with your food?"
I had a gold fish who could breakdance on the carpet.
For 20 seconds.
And only once... :(
Two men are hunting. One asks: "Did you ever hunt bear?" The other one answers: "No, but one time I went fishing in my shorts."