Why do sharks swim in salt water?
Because pepper water makes them sneeze.
What has 4 legs and 1 arm?
A pitbull dog coming back from the kids playground.
How many animals can jump higher than a skyscraper? -- All of them, skyscrapers can't jump.
Teacher: Describe a penguin
Student: Black, White, Beak
Teacher: Good, now describe an orphan
Student: Sad, maybe depressed, No family
Teacher: Amazing, now describe a cow
Student: Brown bun hair, red shirt, white skirt, pantyhose, and dollar tree shoes
Teacher: No! How does that describe a cow?
Student: It describes you tho.
What do you call a sad Doge? What? Nothing but Sarrrooooddd!
Your uncle Jack is stuck on a horse. Will you help Jack off a horse.
What do call a magic owl
HOOdini
The worst thing about an owl is how they can maintain eye contact when you put them in a microwave