Why do sharks swim in salt water?
Because pepper water makes them sneeze.
What has 4 legs and 1 arm?
A pitbull dog coming back from the kids playground.
How many animals can jump higher than a skyscraper? -- All of them, skyscrapers can't jump.
Teacher: Describe a penguin
Student: Black, White, Beak
Teacher: Good, now describe an orphan
Student: Sad, maybe depressed, No family
Teacher: Amazing, now describe a cow
Student: Brown bun hair, red shirt, white skirt, pantyhose, and dollar tree shoes
Teacher: No! How does that describe a cow?
Student: It describes you tho.
A rooster ran across the border from the USA to Canada and laid an egg. Which country does that egg belong to?
Roosters don't lay eggs.
What do you call a sad Doge? What? Nothing but Sarrrooooddd!
You know a parana can devour a small child in 30 seconds Any way I lost my job at the aquarium today
What do you call a sheep with no legs? A cloud
Your uncle Jack is stuck on a horse. Will you help Jack off a horse.
What did the Bull say to his son when he was going of to school? BISON!!!!
Why are ant colonies very healthy? Because they have lots of anti-bodies.
What do call a magic owl
HOOdini
I was walking down main street when I saw a child.
I told him, "I will give you 20$ if you get a my balls back from the vet."
He replied, "Why did they take your balls sir?
"Beer plus going to the vet does not work well for everybody, expeciy when your a furry."
By the law you are not allowed to have a sick bird. That's ill-eagle
The worst thing about an owl is how they can maintain eye contact when you put them in a microwave
I lost my dog. I probably shouldn't have named him rape
My dad has the heart of a lion, and a lifetime ban from the zoo.
what do you call a cow that fell
ground beefffffff --- Aaron
What do you call a dog that can do magic? A Labracadabrador
Why didn't the bear go to college? -- Because bears don't go to college.
