Animal jokes
What’s the difference between 9/11 and a cow?
You can’t milk a cow for 15 years.
My dog died. I'm so sad.
What do you get when you cross a lesbian and a platypus? I lick a lot of pussy.
Why did the chicken cross the road? Because on his side, there was a KFC shop.
What food does cheetahs eat?
Cheetos!
The cheetah and lion are racing. The cheetah wins.
The lion says, "Man, you a cheetah."
The cheetah says, "Nah, you lion!"
Why did you and Sarah break up?
'Cause she cheetahed on me.
"MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE"
Why did the cheetah get kicked out of poker?
'Cause he was a cheetah.
Suck my cheetah.
Why did the cheetah get sad?
'Cause it didn't have any balls to suck.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Who.
Who who are you? Are you an owl or something?
What does a cigar and a hamster have in common?
Both are completely harmless until you put it in your mouth and light it on fire.
What's green and smells like joemama? Shit from a cock.
bnb dcnb cbf
What do you call a deer with good eyes?
Good ideas.
A lion, Johnny Depp, and a hockey player from Nashville all have one thing in common.
They're all Predators!
What did the fish say when he swam into a wall?
Nothing, because fish can't talk.
A man is sitting at home when he hears a knock at the door.
He opens the door and sees a snail on the porch.
He picks up the snail and throws it as far as he can.
Three years later there's a knock at the door.
He opens it and sees the same snail.
The snail says, "What was that all about?"
Why did the deer cross the road? Its friend deered it to!