Animal jokes
Q: Wanna hear a bad cat joke?
A: Just kitten!
The crocodile just kept saying, "No!" He was in Da Nile!
What’s a cow with no body and no nose?
Nobody knows.
Why does this stingray's wife can't stop babbling?
'Cause she can't watch her mouth.
Did you hear about the shark that ate a key shop?
I think it got lockjaw after that.
What do you call a cross between a computer and a vampire bat?
Love at first byte! <3
When do eggs hatch?
At the CRACK of dawn!
What is the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts? Well, beer nuts are 49 cents, but deer nuts are just under a buck. (If you don’t understand the genders of deer, you won’t understand it.)
What's the difference between a bear with a gun and an American man with a gun?
The bear has common sense not to fire it.
Meow meow meow meow :p
Why was the sheep arrested?
Because he did a "ewe" turn on a motorway.
Q: What do you call an angry monkey?
A: Furious George!
What do you call a no "r"-med T-rex?
A T-ex.
What do you call a deer with no eyes?
No-eye-deer (no idea).
There was a dino at the library today.
It was reading a thesaurus.
What place can you find a cow? Mc'Donalds (Eieio)
What’s white and crunchy and swings through trees?
A meringue-atang.
I had to take my pet octopus to the vet yesterday.
Oh, don’t worry, he’s okay now.
But the vet charged me six quid.
Why did the toad cross the road?
To show his girlfriend he had guts.
How can you help a llama on holiday?
Alpaca your bags.