Animal jokes
What did the female dog say to the mirror?
Hi, bitch!
My wife said I acted like a flamingo, so I had to put my foot down.
We were discussing cows in a lesson. I asked my teacher why she was one.
I am mis-steak.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
'Cause it was stapled to the chicken.
One day a cow ate a fish.
What came out the other side?
A dead fish.
I love working with animals, especially when I get to hear their cries of help.
What did the cow say to your mom?
Hello.
Why did the Mexican chicken cross the road?
Because the mom said, "Vente, Baca."
What do you call a wingless fly? A walk!
DOGGGGGGGEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
I called my dog 5 miles.
Today, I fawn over my miles.
I'm a fat cow.
What do you call a cow that was hit by an anvil? A flat iron steak.
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef.
What do you call a cow with 3 legs?
Lean beef.
What do you call a cow with 2 legs?
Your mom.
Why do the cheetahs always beat you? Because they beet-ah.
What do gay horses say?
"Hay ya'lllllllllllllll!"
What is orange and sounds like a parrot?
A: A carrot!
I like turtles.
Dad goat: Son, do you know what I like to eat?
Son goat: No, what?
Dad goat: Goat meat.
Son goat: *Gasps*
Dad goat: Nah, I'm just KIDing.