Mooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo - u
Animal Jokes
What do you get when you cross a pig with a dinosaur?
Jurassic Park.
Two drunk men spot a pig on some old farmer's land.
And they were real hungry (or so they said), and they both decided to take the pig with them into their car and eat it somewhere.
And so they did, and the farmer came out with a gun while they hurriedly drove off, and the farmer said, "Well goddammit, if it was a pig they wanted, why didn't they just take my wife?"
What did the cow jump over?
The Moon.
What do you call a cow?
A cow!
A man takes his dog out and steps in shit. He exclaims "WHAT THE DEUCE!"
Two cows standing in a paddock, one says, "Moo." The other turns to him and says, "I was just going to say that!"
I went on a date last night and told my date I worked with animals every day.
She said, "Oh, how sweet. What do you do?" I said, "I'm a butcher."
My aunt's star sign was Cancer, so it's pretty ironic how she died...
She was eaten by a giant crab.
My girlfriend's dog died, so to cheer her up I went out and got her an identical one.
She went mad, "What am I going to do with two dead dogs?"
I had to give up my vegetarian diet.
Turns out they're a lot harder to catch than cows.
See you later, crocodile.
In a while, pedophile.
Why did the man sit on his porch and bark at the postman when he came?
Because his dog had a sore throat!
Good morning, madam. I am from the local council. Can you please tell me if you have a dog license for that poodle you have on your head?
What did the bull tell his son before it went for college?
Bye-son.
Why are we depressed? Is it because of that bully in your school, or because you have acne? How about when you listen to your sad song playlist? Maybe it's because you have no friends? Or is it the fact your anime girlfriend is fake? T^T
What does a cow use in school? A cowculator.
What do you call a flying sheep?
A muttonbird.
What do you call a sheep with wings?
There's nothing else that can beat up dog.
What's up, dog?
Just my depression!
