And jokes

What’s the difference between an enzyme and a hormone?

You can’t hear an enzyme.

What do women and a Happy Meal have in common?

They both come with a toy.

What's the difference between vitiligo and plastic surgery?

Vitiligo doesn't alter facial features.

My neighbor's daughter gave me a three-course meal last night:

Starters - role play and stripping.

Main course - Reverse Cowgirl.

Dessert - Blowy.

I learned how to say "virgin" in German: "Good and tight."

We asked our teacher many times for an atlas, and he said, "At last, you can have one!"

I picked up a document, and I started to feel cold.

I looked down at the document, and it read "DRAFT."

I bought my son an Xbox in 2017. It’s now 2018, and I’m still waiting for him to open it.

A man from Brooklyn is arguing with an Englishman. He says things like,

"It's an elevator, not a lift!"

and

"It's a bathroom! Not 'washroom'!"

He keeps going on until the Englishman says,

"Hey wanker, it's a school, not a god damned shooting range."

My boyfriend is just like a sexy nerd and I still have to ask him things like that because I'm so distracted from him.

What's the difference between a baby and putty?

You can only eat one.

Chuck Norris can kick an apple from an orange tree and make the best lemonade you've ever had.

How do you organize a space party? You "planet" with some "cheddar" and "brie"-pare for launch!

I have no dad, no milk, and no mom, so that means no tits, like if you can relate.

What's a similarity of an orphan and a deaf kid?

They both can't hear their parents.

Yo mama so old,

her memory is black and white.

I played Clash of Clans, and when I requested troops, all I got were some Muslim wall breakers.

A Chinese, Japanese, South Korean, and North Korean all walk into a bar.

The Landlord says, "Why the same faces, lads?"

There's a Mexican, Brazilian, and Cuban in a S60. Who's driving?

Yo mama so hairy that she got a haircut and lost 47 pounds.