Sexual act jokes
Your manna so fat your father will be coming around the mountain when he cums.
How do you get a dog to stop humping your leg?
Pick it up and suck its dick.
When a deaf girl master baits, does she use the other hand to moan?
My neighbor's daughter gave me a three-course meal last night:
Starters - role play and stripping.
Main course - Reverse Cowgirl.
Dessert - Blowy.
Why is it called scissoring and not lip-syncing?
Who wants a spot of bukkake for bedtime?
How long does it take to blow up a baby in the microwave?
I don't know, I close my eyes when I masturbate...
Guy: Do you want a nickel?
Girl: Sure.
Guy: So you’ll tickle my pickle?
Girl: 😳😩😩😩
Q: How do you stop babies from being conceived through incest?
A: Cum on your cousin's face.
I think if a woman is giving a man a handjob, it should be called "wand making".
If a woman is giving a woman a handjob, it should be called "finger pointing".
If a man is giving a man a handjob, it should be called a "self-pleasure".
Fila is a cool brand. I fill a cock in my ass.
Why does a heterosexual man swallow the sperm of another man after he has given him a brojob?
Because of the cream filling inside, just like the individually wrapped cakes of Hostess Twinkies.
China servers are up on Fortnite, yeah, check by there.
"China getting this dick in your mouth 😂"
Shaenaya hates me, help! And she wants to suck off ******* and ****** and ***** and *****.
What do five dicks sticking out of glory holes and five udders both have in common? They are ready for milking.
What did the mad penis say to the vagina? “Don’t make me come in there!”
What is the difference between a man performing anilingus on a woman and a man performing cunnilingus on a woman?
If a man is performing anilingus on a woman, it is not classified as heterosexual sodomy, you fucking idiot!!!!!
Her husband prepares them a romantic dinner. The wife tells her husband about her desire for it. The husband was clueless about such acts. So, the wife tells him to strip naked on the couch and lay underneath her naked in the reverse missionary position.
She starts thrusting with his meat inside of her and starts waiting for him to thrust along with her thrusts. However, the husband didn’t know what to do, so he just laid there. Suddenly the wife had an urge to pee, but held it in because her husband’s joystick was right inside her. She loses control after a while and lets one drip out. The wife apologizes profusely and continues thrusting her husband. A couple of minutes later, she feels the urge again and lets another drip of urine run down the husband’s schlong to his pelvis.
The husband throws the wife from the couch, gets up, and says,
"Honey, if you think I’ll be screwed by you for more of that, you’re out of your mind."
Q. What do you call anal sex with a politician?
A. A backroom deal.
I’d pound your mom so fast, even Sonic would get jealous!