Sexual act jokes
My wife caught me one day for watching a porn channel, so I quickly turned the TV to a fishing channel. On her way out, she said: "You should stay on the porn channel. You know how to fish!"
Why can a gay man give a better brojob to a heterosexual man than another heterosexual man?
Experience.
What do five dicks sticking out of glory holes and five udders both have in common? They are ready for milking.
What's the definition of trust?
Two cannibals giving each other blowjobs.
What is the difference between a man performing anilingus on a woman and a man performing cunnilingus on a woman?
If a man is performing anilingus on a woman, it is not classified as heterosexual sodomy, you fucking idiot!!!!!
What's the difference between a rabbi and a priest? One cuts them off and one sucks them off.
How does a gay man trick a heterosexual man that is homophobic into giving him a brojob?
The gay man puts mustard on his dick and then puts his dick inside a glory hole.
Why does a heterosexual man swallow the sperm of another man after he has given him a brojob?
Because of the cream filling inside, just like the individually wrapped cakes of Hostess Twinkies.
Do you want to play Titanic?
When I say iceberg, you go down on me.
Two gay guys, two lesbians, and two pedophiles have a race.
What is the order of finish?
1. Lesbians. Doing 69 the whole way.
2. Pedophiles. Coming in a little behind.
3. Gay guys. Still packing their shit.
I think if a woman is giving a man a handjob, it should be called "wand making".
If a woman is giving a woman a handjob, it should be called "finger pointing".
If a man is giving a man a handjob, it should be called a "self-pleasure".
Did you know "bj" ends with "job" because if you are giving a man a blow job, it sucks? But if you’re giving it to a woman, it's called "eating out" because it’s a privilege.
I’d pound your mom so fast, even Sonic would get jealous!
How do you get a dog to stop humping your leg?
Pick it up and suck its dick.
Fila is a cool brand. I fill a cock in my ass.
Why is it called scissoring and not lip-syncing?
Q. What do you call anal sex with a politician?
A. A backroom deal.
My neighbor's daughter gave me a three-course meal last night:
Starters - role play and stripping.
Main course - Reverse Cowgirl.
Dessert - Blowy.
Q: How do you stop babies from being conceived through incest?
A: Cum on your cousin's face.
When a deaf girl master baits, does she use the other hand to moan?