And jokes

What do Christmas decorations and dead people have in common?

They both hang from a tree!

I can't decide if I like rocking chairs or not.

I keep going back and forth on them.

What is the difference between Pikachu and an orphan?

Pikachu, I choose you!

I saw a little boy sitting on a curb wearing rags.

I said: "Aww, are you an orphan?"

And he responded with "Yeah. What gave me away?"

And I said: "Your parents."

There is a room of men: Jamal, David, and Afzul. "Jamal is black," "David is white," and "Afzul is a Pakistani." Who set off the bomb?

Afzul, it's clearly him cause he's a Pakistani...

Did you hear the passengers on the Titanic invited Yo Momma and the Titanic crew said, "Man overboard!"

Join my beta communication community committee commission Cumbria, please guys and girls and gurls. It's all inclusive b&b.

How many emos does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, they just sit there and cry in the dark.

What's the difference between you and Frankenstein?

He is not ugly like you; plus, he has a wife.

What's the difference between emo people and normal people? Normal people have wrists.

Two emos are dating, and the most romantic thing they have ever done is slit each other's wrists.

My friend just got hit by a car and is now in a wheelchair. He is getting bullied, but I don’t understand why he just can’t stand up for himself.

Roses are red. Violets are blue. Your mom gay, And so are you.

I bet when 2 cheetahs race and one of them cheats, the other one says, "You're such a cheetah!" Then they laugh and go and eat a zebra or whatever.

Chalie has an eating disorder, and he is shorter, so is his life, but he will never get a wife. He's a gay motherfucker who wants to be hit by a trucker?

Today I donated my watch, phone, and $500 to a poor guy.

You wouldn’t believe the happiness I felt as he slid the pistol back into his pocket.

What's the difference between a trampoline and a child?

You take your shoes off before jumping on the trampoline.

Jokes about the Twin Towers and planes usually crash and burn.

Mommy, mommy! Are we drug dealers?

Shut up and cut the coke.

Son: Dad, I'm gay.

Dad: I support you.

Son: I like you.

Dad: Get out and into my room!