And jokes

People say my dad left me and was never successful, but if you search up who destroyed the Twin Towers, he will pop up.

Also, my mom's great grandpa killed Hitler.

Two peanuts walk into a bar, and one was assaulted.

What has 4 limbs and can make a sidewalk red? Me falling from a 20 story building.

Spell "Ihop," and then say, "'Ness, I ate your peanuts!"

9/10/01

Bush: “Ok, I got this. Just act surprised and pretend to be sad and declare war on Afghanistan.”

So, my mom was talking to me and told me to go to the store. When I get there, there’s a sign, but then someone tells me that’s just someone with a ginormous forehead.

What do blind people and an orphan have in common? Both can't see their parents.

Don’t like this post, or else I will go to your house and eat you! 😈

I intern at an orphanage that burned down this weekend with 30 kids inside.

Thankfully, I don’t have to call and tell their parents.

What's the difference between an orphan and a bowl of apples?

The apples got picked!

I just beat the Hollow Knight and found it takes 26 hours to beat it, but it took me 69 hours to beat it.

Yo mama's so stupid, she got locked in the grocery store and starved to death.

Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a bucket of water.

WHERE DO THEY REALLY GO BECAUSE WATER CAN NOT BE AT THE TOP OF A HILL!?. I honestly think that only people with a physics degree can make nursery rhythms.

Did you know an apple and an orphan are different.

An apple gets picked.

What's yellow and can't swim?

A bus full of children.

Yo mama's so stupid, when thieves broke into her house and stole the TV, she chased after them shouting, "Wait, you forgot the remote!"

Yo mama's so fat, I swerved to miss her in my car and ran out of gas.

Why are the Twin Towers mad?

They are like pepperoni and cheese as a plane.

A priest, a rabbi, and a vicar walk into a bar. The barman says, “Is this some kind of joke?”

The E and F in Orphan stands for Every one in their Family.

Me: yep they definitely have one 100% 💯