And jokes

Jeffrey Dahmer likes his men how he likes his coffee: black and ground up.

What do depressed teenagers and fruits have in common?

They both hang by something.

I saw a kid crying and I asked him where his parents are.

I love my job at the orphanage.

What do Helen Keller and orphans have in common?

Neither of them can see or hear their parents.

My grandma walked up on my doorstep and I grabbed my bible... I thought she was a smurf...

What do Ben 10 and a disabled kid have in common? They both slap their wrist.

A panda walks into a restaurant, orders some food, and eats it. Once he was done, he shoots the waiter, then leaves.

Police and detectives arrive at the scene. They ask the waiter, "Who did this to you? What happened?"

The waiter replies, "A panda, eats, shoots, and leaves."

What do iPhones and the Titanic have in common?

There's no Jack!

My son caught me masturbating. He asked me, "What are you doing?" and I said, "Don't worry, son, you'll be doing it soon." He asks, "Why is that?" and I said, "My arm's getting tired."

Is it sexual harassment if a midget walks by you and tells you that your hair smells nice?

Q. What is an orphan's favorite game?

A. Hide and seek.

Arab rizz. Are you a tower? Because I wanna blow you up and don't let your friend know about this. Rashid, I told you not to blow it up, I had it.

The greatest Arab pilot, my grandfather.

Why were the World Trade Center so mad? Because they ordered 3 pizzas, but 2 came in plane and 1 went to the wrong address.

Your momma is so stupid, she farted and turned the radio on to cover up the smell.

Yo mama so fat that she walked in front of the TV, and I missed a whole episode of iCarly.

What is the difference between E.T. and an orphan?

E.T. can actually call home.

What’s the difference between a mountain and your girl?

At least the mountain has two hills.

What is the difference between a feminazi and a female prostitute?

If you want the female prostitute to be a bitch, you have to give her money first.

I’m in a wheelchair and I can do stand-up comedy, oh wait...

What do blind kids and orphans have in common?

Both can't see their parents.