And jokes

I want to die in my sleep, like grandpa did, not screaming and crying like the people on the bus he drove.

What do rats like on their birthday? Mice cream and cake.

I will always remember my dad's last words....

"15 dollars and I'll jump."

Sans: Zzzzzzzz.

Papyrus: SANS, WAKE UP!!

Sans: What is it, dude?

Papyrus: A human has fallen from the surface world!

Sans: And you gotta BONE to pick with 'em??

Sans: Zzzzzzzz

Papyus: SANS WAKE UP!!

Sans: What is it dude?

Papyus: A human has fallen from the surface world!

Sans: And you gotta BONE to pick with 'em??

Papyus: Grrrrr....

Sans: Oh come on that was a real RIBTICKLER.

How many emo kids does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, they all sit in the dark and cry.

What's red, 6 inches long, and makes my girlfriend cry when I feed it to her?

Her miscarriage.

Using modern day technology you can produce music with a Tesla coil. I don't know if you heard it, but it is quite shocking and even electrifying. I can't tell if it is metal or techno, but it is more valuable than joules. It really amps up your blood pressure and has you saying watt the whole time. It is way better than current music.

What’s similar between the twin towers and Kobe Bryant?

They both can crash down.

Yo mama so ugly that when she was born, the doctor looked at her face, then at her butt and said, "Twins!"

Once there was this Whichdoctor. He walked barefoot most of the time, which gave him impressive calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, and the food gave him bad breath, which made him (wait for it) a Super Callused Fragile Mystic Hexed By Halitosis.

A blind man walks into a bar. And a table. And a chair.

There was a race between Lettuce, a faucet, and Ketchup. The lettuce was a-head, the faucet was still running, and the ketchup was trying to ketchup.

Why the f was my shooting joke removed? It was funny, and this is obviously a website for morbid humor. WTF, I mean, worstjokesever.com. Come on...

A blonde, brunette, and a redhead are running from the police. They come across an old shack with three burlap sacks. They each hop into one of them. The police come and kick the one with the brunette in it. She goes, "Mew, mew." The police say, "Oh, it's just a bag of kittens." Then they kick the one with the redhead. "Woof, woof." They think, "Oh, it's just a bag of puppies." Then they kick the one with the blonde in it. She goes, "POTATOES!!" And gets arrested.

What’s the difference between kids and drugs?

I don’t hide drugs in my basement.

What's the difference between a boring teacher and a boring book?

You can shut the book up.

What do trans men and Pinocchio have in common?

Both are lying when they say "I'm a real boy."

(I'm a trans man myself lol)

My grandpa said I was too reliant on technology when he saw me on my phone. I called him a hypocrite and unplugged his life support.

I once had a cat that reminded me of Doug Ford.

Fat, mean, and probably inbred.