And jokes

Spell 'Imap' and say 'ness' at the end.

School was fun, but it was hard, almost like riding a bike that’s on fire and the grounds on fire and everything’s on fire because it’s hell.

I'm on a seafood diet, I see food and I eat it.

He turns, he shoots!

And that is a horrible end to the Grand National...

A fat girl was dancing on the table, and I said, "Nice legs." She says, "You really think so?" And I say, "Yes, definitely, most tables would have been broken by now."

When the school shooter says, "Everybody get down!" and the autistic kid thinks it's Simon Says: 🙋‍♂️🙋‍♂️🙋‍♂️

If you have 13 apples in one hand and 10 oranges in the other, what do you have?

Big hands.

A woman walks onto the bus with her child. The driver says, "That's the ugliest child I have ever seen!" The woman sits down and tells her neighbor. The neighbor replies, "Go say something back. Here, I'll hold your monkey for you!"

A Texan and an Alaskan walk into a room, and the Alaskan says, "My state is bigger." Then the Texan says, "It won't be when it melts."

What's yellow and can't swim?

A bus full of kids.

What does a freshly pregnant teen and her baby share?

They both think, "Mom's probably going to kill me."

Make sense of what I am saying, This is a LIE—and that's the TRUTH.

What am I?

Answer: a Riddle.

I was sitting in math class, and our teacher doesn't like it if we don't work on math in his class. So, I did science homework on top of a math book.

What do you get when you have 10 chicken nuggets and little Jimmy tries to take one?

10 chicken nuggets and a dead little Jimmy.

Dear disabled people, Just go into the settings and enable it.

What do trans men and Pinocchio have in common?

Both are lying when they say, "I'm a real boy."

What do dark humor and a person with scoliosis have in common?

Both are sick and twisted.

What’s Michael Jackson’s favorite poker hand?

Jacks and 5.

What’s the difference between a feminist and a school shooter?

A school shooter actually makes an impact on its targets.

I like my women like I like my wine. 16 and locked in my in a basement.