Who are the fastest readers? Nine-eleven victims, because they fell through 720 stories in under 10 seconds.
Sandy Hook is my favorite holiday.
The Annoying Orange called Donald Trump a copycat.
In America, there was a boy named Urhan, and he had one hand and a stump, and a girl named Handa who was an orphan. They had a trial for the Boston Red Sox, and they failed because Urhan couldn’t stump the ball, and Handa didn’t know where home was.
whats is a mexicans favorite sport?? Cross country because they dont need to be in America Mexico was made for them
"Why do people call Americans excessive?"
"It was probably because of WWII."
"Oh, you mean the war where America responded to the destruction of several ships and a harbor and the deaths of a little over a thousand by completely flattening two cities and killing hundreds of thousands of people?"
"You're da bomb!" "No, you're da bomb!"
In America, a compliment. In the Middle East, an argument.
Why does Mexico not have an Olympic team? Because everyone who can run, jump, and swim is already in America.
Why did 1 eat 2?
'Cause he was hungry.
Necrophilia in Alabama is fun for the whole family, even grandma.
Gun control in America is perfect the way it is, because the other day my daughter was seeing a boy and i caught them in bed. Then i pulled out my shotgun and nearly shot him. As he was running away I shouted " The only person allowed to f*ck my daughter is me!".
Fortnite is like America... At one time it was good and free. Now it's neither.
Why can't America play chess?
They're missing two towers.
What is a Mexican's favorite sport?
Cross country.
School is a lot like boot camp. The only difference is that you don't have to get deployed to get shot at.
What do you call Trump with no spray tan on his hair?
Your next door grumpy old neighbor.
The Pope and Donald Trump are on stage in front of a huge crowd.
The Pope leaned towards Trump and said, “Do you know that with one little wave of my hand I can make every person in this crowd go wild with joy? This joy will not be a momentary display, like that of your followers, but go deep into their hearts and for the rest of their lives. Whenever they speak of this day, they will rejoice!”
Trump replies, “I seriously doubt that. With one little wave of your hand? Show me!”
So the Pope slapped him.
In America, planes hit the Twin Towers. In Soviet Russia, Twin Towers hit planes.
What do you get when you cross a cat and a dinosaur? A cat-astrophe!
This is funny.
