Yo mama's so stupid she got locked in Mattress World and slept on the floor.
If you hate America, I don't like you :)
What do you call a girl skeleton dancing?
A bone-étit.
9/11
What happened when Obama ran for president?
The whole US thought, "Holy hell, it's Osama bin Laden!" Thought he was dead.
What is big, annoying, and full of blubber?
90% of America's population.
What do you get when an American talks to an Aussie and a Kiwi?
Two Aussie.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the idiot's house.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
The chicken.
Three people explored the jungles, one was from France, one from Britain, and the other from America.
While exploring, they were captured by the tribe living there. The tribesmen told the three, "You three have invaded our territory, so we must kill you and use your bodies to create canoes. However, we aren't that heartless, so we'll let you choose your deaths."
So the French guy asked for a gun, pointed to his head, and said "Viva la France!" and shot himself. The Britain guy requested poison and said, "For the Queen!" and drank the poison. Lastly, the American asked for a spoon. The tribesmen were confused but still gave him the spoon. When the American got the spoon, he started stabbing himself, "Try make a canoe out of this one!"
Knock knock whos there your mother duh
Q: What do American beer and canoes have in common?
A: Fu@king close to water!
What does America say?
A-marry-ca!
Q: If George Washington was alive today, what would he do?
A: Scratch mercilessly at the coffin walls, while screaming at the top of his lungs!
What's the a simulation between a penis and a Rubik's cube?
The more you play with it, the harder it gets.
Why are Mexicans so bad in the Olympics?
Because all the ones that can run, jump, and swim live in America.
Why can't Americans trade with other countries? We lost the trading center!
If Canadians speak "English Eh?", do Americans speak "English B?"
Once, there was a Minecraft child molester on the Minecraft Facebook. He asks a kid his age. The kid blocks him.
America.
What's the difference between Jesus and a picture frame?
It only takes one nail to hang a picture frame.
