America once was known as an Obama nation. Now we're known as an abomination.
America:i going to build a wall
Nazi:been there
Soviet union:done that
What do you call your brother in Alabama? Daddy.
Hey do you know why America sucks we have the death penalty
me:*gives her 5 dollars* climb that flag pole cute female:*takes the money and goes up the flag pole* is this good me:hell yeah thats a nice veiw *next day* heres 10 dollars if u do it again *she goes up there* me:hows the veiw *she goes home and her mom sees the money* her mom:where u getting this money her daughter:i climbed a flagpole her mom:you know he just want u to to see ur panties right *she goes back and does it again but doesnt wear panties* me:holy shit ;-; her mom:did u do it again her daughter:dont worry mom he didnt get to see my panties her mom:...
Emmy and thomas sitting in a tree
IM GEORGE WASHINGTON I CANT SPELL TETH OR AMEiciari
My friend asks for a turkey burger on 4th of July. I say, "That's Thanksgiving, man!"
Germany: As long as America stay out of the war we should win. Japan: *bombing pearl harbour* Cowabunga It Is!!
Commander: "Fire a warning shot."
Soldier: "Sir, this is a M32 grenade launcher."
Commander: "Potato, potato, just fire."
Soldier: *fires M32 grenade launcher near a pre-school*
Commander: "They're trying to run, TAKE THEM DOWN!"
Nasa = Not Africa North America.that what nasa stands for
What to hear a pizza joke? Never mind it’s to chesesy
Your mom walked into a bar and broke all the furniture.
what do you call a best friend that smokes weed?
A pothead. Just because he's your friend, you don't have to support his poor decisions. Jeez, what has America come to?
I entered 10 puns in a pun contest, hoping one would win, but no pun in ten did.
Bippity Boppity Boo Donald Trump is gonna deport you
Here's how to piss off all of North America.
All the United States is, is South Canadia.
Three people died and went to Hell. One of them is from America, the second guy is from Germany, and the third guy is from Afghanistan. The devil lets each person make a phone call to their loved ones in the country they came from, but they will be charged. The American spends 10 minutes on the phone and is charged $20. The German spends 12 minutes on the phone and is charged $24. The man from Afghanistan spends half an hour on the phone and is charged nothing. The other two guys asked the devil why. The devil responded: "Local calls are free."
Who are the fastest readers? Nine eleven victims because they fell through 720 stories in under 10 seconds
Sandy Hook is my favorite holiday
