America jokes
What did they call Susan B. Anthony when she was sleeping on the job? Snoozin' B. Anthony!
White people: *come to America, meet natives and take food, kill them, rape them, and enslave them.*
Natives: Can y-
White people: Hey, you remember all that horrible sh*t we did to you? Let's have a good laugh about it over dinner with your buddies and my new wives.
ABBaS.
In Soviet Russia, gay sex gets you arrested.
In America, getting arrested gets you gay sex.
What do you call an angry Texan?
A Confederate leader.
What happened when the American broke his arm?
He went broke.
What's the difference between America and a flash drive?
One is USA and the other is USB! 😂😂😂
Make America hate again.
"Trump is Putin, America first!" hahaha
What do you call a crying dick?
I call it a crying dick.
Shoot.
America once was known as an Obama nation. Now we're known as an abomination.
America: I'm going to build a wall.
Nazi: Been there.
Soviet Union: Done that.
What do you call your brother in Alabama? Daddy.
Hey, do you know why America sucks? We have the death penalty.
Me: *gives her 5 dollars* Climb that flag pole. Cute female: *takes the money and goes up the flag pole* Is this good? Me: Hell yeah, that's a nice view.
*Next day* Here's 10 dollars if you do it again. *She goes up there* Me: How's the view? *She goes home and her mom sees the money* Her mom: Where you getting this money? Her daughter: I climbed a flagpole. Her mom: You know he just wants you to see your panties, right? *She goes back and does it again but doesn't wear panties* Me: Holy shit ;-; Her mom: Did you do it again? Her daughter: Don't worry, Mom, he didn't get to see my panties. Her mom:...
"Emmy and Thomas sitting in a tree."
I'm George Washington. I can't spell "teeth" or "American."
My friend asks for a turkey burger on 4th of July. I say, "That's Thanksgiving, man!"
Germany: As long as America stays out of the war, we should win.
Japan: *bombing Pearl Harbor* Cowabunga It Is!!