Always jokes
Why doesn't George Washington carry his ID?
Because he knows he can always ask for a quarter.
I like men like I like money, always getting lost under my bed.
Why do cantaloupes always get married in the church?
'Cause they can't elope.
Why do golfers always bring a spare pair of pants?
Because they always get a hole in one!
There's a girl I like in my school, but she's always on her phone. It seems that I can't get a SIGNAL from her.
Memes
What's the difference between a boy and girl? A boy always carries an average 5in "do not enter" sign.
Why do so many kids love boomerangs? Because they always come back.
What do you call a rapper who's always sleepy?
NAP-TAIN
Why don't rappers ever get LOST?
Because they always find their way with their GPS (Great Poetic Skills).
Why was the rapper bad at baseball?
Because he always dropped the MIC instead of the BAT.
Why don't rappers ever become bankers?
Because they always break the BARS!
My father told me to always carry a women's bag, but I don't know why he called the cops on me when I helped Mom's bag when we went parachuting. :(
Why do asses make terrible spies?
Because they always CRACK under pressure.
I'm always willing to go down on a special needs girl.
Momma always told me to eat my vegetables.
Did you get your phone from the desert? No wonder why your texts are always so dry.
My boyfriend always likes when I wear my fishnet sleeves. He says it looks great on me, but he doesn’t know that my skin is covered with scars... no one does. No one questions why I wear them everyday. I hope it stays like that because I can’t deal with my mom finding out that I still hurt myself.
I always thought the idea of education was to learn to think for yourself.
What do Africans always play? They play The Hunger Games.
Why are priests so bad at racing? They are always in the 'little behind'.
Your hairline's exactly like your nose; it's always offside.