A train walks into a bar. It says to the barkeeper, "I'll have a gallon of ale."
"A gallon?" the barkeeper asks.
"Yes," replies the train, "I always end up chugging it."
What's braver than coming out gay? Taking a shit in an elementary school bathroom with those two kids that always mess with you and turn off the lights.
Me people call me emo.
Older cousin: Why?
Because I always have my hood up and wear black cloths and wear black cross earrings.
Why do orphans love playing baseball. They can always run home.
Why don't rappers ever get lost?
Because they always follow the BEAT
A lot of people get mad at me for my bad jokes. I always thought they were punderful.
Mufasa is proof that cats don't always land on their feet.
My name is Devonair.
When I get a haircut, it's always bald.
Kids make fun of me, they call me "dang-near bald head."
My name is Devonair *dev-on-near*
I always thought they were making fun of me because of my name pronounced near.
I hate sitting in traffic, I always get run over.
Person: "My pony is crazy; it's always horsing around."
I’ll always remember my father’s last words: “I’m gonna sleep for a little.”
Why do Americans always win at the shooting Olympics?
Because they train at the best school.
What is always in front of you but can’t be seen?
Answer: The future.
Okay, okay, why [are] people askin[g] where I went[?] I[']m always on this website. Never think I[']m not.
What’s the worst thing to happen to an orphan?
Well, they weren’t always orphans.
Why is Broly always mad?
Answer: His bros dead.
At weddings my mom always tells me I’m next. So I say the same to her, at funerals.
Why are vampires always sick?
Because they are coffin.
I'm 5'6", and my mom is 5'1" and 1/2. She always says she's going to get a suicide vest and fill it with bricks and squish me. I tell her good luck.
And when she tries to hug me, she says, "You're too fucking tall, kid," so I usually reply with "Go get a stool then."
Your hairline's exactly like your nose; it's always offside.
