Always Jokes

I wanted to be an astronaut but my parents always told me when I was little that the sky was the limit.

Once there were twins, Mark and Michael, Mark was the owner of a old boat. It so happened that Michael's wife died the same day that Mark's boat sank. A few days later, a kindly old woman saw Mark and mistook him for Michael. She said, "I'm sorry to hear about your loss. You must just feel terrible. "Mark, thinking that she was talking about his boat, said, "Heck no. In fact, I'm sort of glad to be rid of her. She was a rotten old thing right from the beginning. Her bottom was all shrivelled up and she smelled like old dead fish. She was always losing her water; she had a bad crack in the back and a pretty big hole in the front too. Every time I used her, her hole got bigger and she leaked like crazy. I guess what finally finished her off was when I rented her to these four guys looking for a good time. I warned them that she wasn't very good, but they wanted to use her anyhow. The fools tried to get in her all at once and she split right up the middle!" The old lady fainted. 🤣🤣🤣😂😂😂

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

Why do orphans always have water in their cereal because the dad never came back with the milk

I will Always Love You!

Why do people love dating orphans? Because there always home alone

Why don't Romans find algebra interesting?

X is always 10.

What is the one thing wrong with Asian pet stores... There is always a kitchen in the back

My life is a lot like a game of Black Jack

I always hit on 16, the get busted

My friend’s mother was never a font of sympathy, but always the one to see beyond the darkness. Upon learning about her daughter’s cancer diagnosis she said, “Well honey, at least you’ll lose some weight!"

My syndrome may be down but my hopes are always up

What do squirrels and men have in common? They always want a nut.

Roses are not always red, Violets are violet, not blue. Irises are never red, Petunias can be kinda blue. What does this tell us 'cept you can't trust a poet to tell the truth.

I was swimming in a pool on my vacation when a fan of mine approached me. He said he wanted an autograph and gave me a pen to sign it. I accidentally dropped the pen in the pool. Suddenly Penaldo came out of NOWHERE and dived to save it, he said he always dives for pens.