Alien jokes
What do you call a friend in space?
Space friend.
If an illegal immigrant fights against a child molester, would that be "Alien vs Predator"?
Do you know why no one speaks about George Washington?
John Adams turned him into atoms. John Adams was an alien.
What do you call it when a Mexican and a pedophile fight?
Alien vs Predator.
What do alien moms like to drink? Starbucks.
Why did the alien go to the rap battle?
Because he had some UNEARTHLY rhymes!
Do you know what Fortnite was like before season 2 chapter 3? They put the Foundation / The Rock in the water where aliens were that season.
Why did an orphan kill ET?
To phone home.
An alien goes to Area 51, but I wonder why he doesn't go to your house?
What do you call a war dodo named Bob in WW2 and he came from Mars?
Bruno Mars.
Alien vs Predator.
Cosby vs E.T.
My son got in trouble for writing the following underneath the question “Do aliens exist?”
“Of course they do! They live in Mexico!”
Bra eat E.T.?
What do you call a Muslim in America being pursued by a perv?
Alien vs. Predator.
What does Ben 10 call his wife?
Humungouswhore
Things said by racist aliens:
"Some of my best friends are Green."
"I just know that Orange guy stole my spaceship."
"You're very pretty for a Purple girl."
"We know you Tentacletians like to rape everyone with your tentacles!"
"Adax Hitao should have finished off you Bluish people."
"You 2-headed people are so stupid!"
"No Slimatians are allowed in this restaurant because of health codes."
"Get out of my store you grigger!"
"The Plu Plux Plum meeting is tonight! Let's burn some spaceships on the Greenies' lawns!"
Thanks to an unfortunate typo, it's the most one-sided action movie ever.
Alen vs. Predator.
Why did the Orphan punch the other orphan?
Because the orphan broke his leg then had to get a retirement fund, so then he farted and got 1m dollars in cash, so then he started eating his toe jam and thought it tasted really good, so he started selling it to Taco Bell, then ate a cow. All the sudden he was attacked by hangry aliens then gave them some toe jam. They loved it, so they farted there way back up to space where they were eating Harold's fresh toe jam. It was so good, then one of the aliens ate there dog, so had to go the dollar tree to get it out then started gagging on one of the aliens' 2 meter defeater, and then the Orphan made out with the other Orphan and had a wedding at playground sharting happily ever after.
Why do white people get abducted by aliens?
Because they're easier to see in the dark.
What do you call Darth Vader when he dies?
A black alien.