Alien jokes
A NASA scientist is sitting in a bar when a Martian walks in and orders a martini.
The NASA scientist quickly realizes he is dreaming and wakes up. He turns to his wife and tries to explain the dream, but she rolls over and ignores him because she is tired of listening to him.
The NASA scientist begins to sob because his marriage is in shambles. lmao.
What is the weirdest thing to wear and what is the weirdest thing to say?
Weirdest thing to ware: Socks with sandals, also with flip flops!
Weirdest thing to say: "Would you rather be a bath or a toilet?" "The blue angel sea slug looks like an alien." (weird).
Bonus: Things to ware with other things: Crop top with t-shirt (really hip), Crop top with tights or shorts, dresses with tights! (Cool) Oh well byeeeeeee!
Hey guys, it's an alien!
What goes boo in a car with no lips?
What do you call Darth Vader when he dies?
A black alien.
Why were ET's eyes so big?
Because he saw the phone bill.
Me: Are you an alien?
Friend: No.
Me: Yeah, because you're too ugly to be one.
Once the aliens was gonna have a party, they had to planet.
Bra eat E.T.?
What snack do aliens like?
Mars Bars.
What do you do when you see a spaceman?
Park in it, man!
If they made a movie about your sex life, what would the title be?
Mine would be "Alien Vs. Predator."
What does Ben 10 call his wife?
Humungouswhore
My son got in trouble for writing the following underneath the question “Do aliens exist?”
“Of course they do! They live in Mexico!”
Why do humans hate aliens?
Because Fortnite took them out of the game, and I want aliens back in Fortnite!
Best chick ever.
Call me at 6969696969.
How does E.T. have an advantage over orphans? E.T. can actually phone home.
Why is E.T. better than an orphan?
Because he found his way home.
What do you call a war dodo named Bob in WW2 and he came from Mars?
Bruno Mars.
What do you call a lesbian alien? A "lesbeening."