They're making a new Alien movie.
There are so many aliens you can't keep track.
Why did the alien go to the rap battle?
Because he had some UNEARTHLY rhymes!
What is the difference between an illegal immigrant and E.T.?
E.T. eventually went home!
What do alien moms like to drink? Starbucks.
Why is E.T. better than an orphan?
Because he found his way home.
Chris Hemsworth is Australian, and Thor is from space. Does that make him an Australien?
Ben 10 and a disabled person are the same, but no aliens for the disabled person.
Ur mom is so fat that she has her own gravitational field. She attracts everything around her, from planets to asteroids to comets. She is the center of the solar system, and the sun is just one of her many satellites. She is so massive that she bends space and time, creating wormholes and black holes. She is the ultimate cosmic phenomenon, and no one can escape her pull.
Ur mom is so old that she witnessed the Big Bang. She was there when the universe was born, and she has seen it all. She knows the secrets of the cosmos, and she has lived through every epoch and era. She has watched stars form and die, galaxies collide and merge, and civilizations rise and fall. She is the oldest living being in existence, and she has more wisdom than anyone can imagine.
Ur mom is so ugly that she scares away aliens. She is the reason why we have never made contact with extraterrestrial life. They have seen her face and they have fled in terror. They have warned their fellow species to avoid Earth at all costs, because it is inhabited by a monstrous creature that defies all logic and beauty. She is the ultimate deterrent for invasion, and she has saved humanity from countless alien invasions.
What do you call a friend in space?
Space friend.
How do you put a baby alien to sleep?
You rocket. 🚀🚀🚀
Three guys are standing in an alley on an alien planet, and the psycho one says, "However many tits your girl has is how many balls you have!"
The first guy says, "Ha! My girlfriend has six! I'm racked up!" The second guy said, "Eh, I am happy with two balls." The third guy said, "Shit! My girlfriend is flat as fuck!"
A guy listening in enters and says, "Bro, you actually have girlfriends. I do not. Does that mean I have a pussy?"
What do you call Darth Vader when he dies?
A black alien.
I found an alien in my backyard. I put him to work. He went to a farm, and I never saw him again. Moments later, he is on the Daily Planet acting as a reporter. A green rock smashed my house. I called him back, and he passed out.
I remarked, "You lazy!"
There was an illegal alien woman who wanted to be called "undocumented." So, I had "undocumented" sex with her and threatened to have her deported if she reported me for rape. I'd call it even.
Jo mama so fat that when aliens invaded earth, they said, "Wow, two in one!"
What do you call a Muslim in America being pursued by a perv?
Alien vs. Predator.
If they made a movie about your sex life, what would the title be?
Mine would be "Alien Vs. Predator."
My son got in trouble for writing the following underneath the question “Do aliens exist?”
“Of course they do! They live in Mexico!”
We need to stop with all the discrimination here! I don’t discriminate! I love all races, even the bad ones, I’m a fan of all genders, even the fake ones, and am a fan of all nationalities, even the alien kinds.
Why do humans hate aliens?
Because Fortnite took them out of the game, and I want aliens back in Fortnite!
