Airport jokes

The terrorists lost their landing gear and had to make a crash landing into the closest building because religion.

What did the plane say to the tower?

"Give me a kiss."

How do stars die? Usually a overdose in an airport.

Why aren’t Make-A-Wish kids allowed to fly?

Because they rarely make it out of the terminal.

What's a building's first crush? A plane.

I just watched a 9/11 documentary on a plane. Man next to me said, "You know we're going to New York, right?" I told him I just wanna know what I got into.

You live in the airport.

Did you know if you give a guy a plane ticket, he flies once, but if you push him out of a plane, he flies for the rest of his life.

I'm a pilot and my boss told me to fly people to New York, so I flew them to New York and hit the towers. That was a tragic story.

Here comes the airplane.

9/11 happens the next day.

I was confused when they asked me, "Do you know how to fly a plane?" Then, when I said, "No," they said, "Perfect!"

What did one plane say to the other?

"It’s been a long day, I’m ready to crash."

Other plane: "No you’re not, we haven’t even gotten high yet!"

What do you call a kid with cancer walking through the airport?

•Terminal

I guess making 9/11 jokes at the airport is better than shouting "He's got a gun!" at the airport.

Your forehead is so big, I could land a jet plane on it.

(The plane) we can’t go over it, we can’t go under it. Oh no, we have to go through it.

Control tower to Boeing 747, you're clear to land on (said person)'s forehead.

Dear Victims... äh Passengers, we are flying now from Ryadh to New York. Amazing Building... äh Amazing City. There's online, but 2000 there were two Towers... äh Restaurants. We hijack the plane... äh Hi Jack. Jack is my co-pilot, and I said hello. Don‘t scream... History Repea... äh... History never comes back, we are now flying back to the Airport. 💀

What's the difference between the Twin Towers and an airplane landing strip? Don't know, neither did my dad.

I caught a cold, Mary Earp caught the ball, what did the towers catch? The plane.