Airport jokes
Here comes the airplane.
9/11 happens the next day.
Did you know if you give a guy a plane ticket, he flies once, but if you push him out of a plane, he flies for the rest of his life.
My dad died in 9/11.
But he was the pilot.
Why did the terrorist cross the road?
To get to the airport!
As an actor going to film a new TV show in another country, when TSA asks, "What’s the purpose of your visit?"... "I’m going to shoot a pilot" is never a good answer.
Why aren’t Make-A-Wish kids allowed to fly?
Because they rarely make it out of the terminal.
My dad died in 9/11. At least he did what he loves best: flying planes.
Kobe Bryant ain’t flying that well anymore.
I was confused when they asked me, "Do you know how to fly a plane?" Then, when I said, "No," they said, "Perfect!"
Q: Why are gay people never late for their flight?
A: They get their shit packed the night before.
My Grandpa was supposed to be in 9/11, but airport security got him.
I'm a pilot and my boss told me to fly people to New York, so I flew them to New York and hit the towers. That was a tragic story.
A gay couple and a lesbian couple are going to the airport, which one gets there first? The lesbian, duh, they get there "lickety-split."
I told my friend to fly a plane,
But he threw a ramp off a roof.
The terrorists lost their landing gear and had to make a crash landing into the closest building because religion.
Your forehead is so big, I could land a jet plane on it.
Chuck Norris doesn't fly on airplanes.
Airplanes fly on Chuck Norris.
(The plane) we can’t go over it, we can’t go under it. Oh no, we have to go through it.
My mom once ate a full giant cheesecake, and we were walking to our flight back home, and she had to sh*t.
We were walking to the bathroom, and she full on [did it] in front of the carousel. She had a lump of poo in her pants... True story, haha!
"Hey, look, that plane is getting bigge-"