Airport jokes

Here comes the airplane.

9/11 happens the next day.

Did you know if you give a guy a plane ticket, he flies once, but if you push him out of a plane, he flies for the rest of his life.

My dad died in 9/11.

But he was the pilot.

Why did the terrorist cross the road?

To get to the airport!

As an actor going to film a new TV show in another country, when TSA asks, "What’s the purpose of your visit?"... "I’m going to shoot a pilot" is never a good answer.

Why aren’t Make-A-Wish kids allowed to fly?

Because they rarely make it out of the terminal.

Kobe Bryant ain’t flying that well anymore.

My dad died in 9/11. At least he did what he loves best: flying planes.

I was confused when they asked me, "Do you know how to fly a plane?" Then, when I said, "No," they said, "Perfect!"

Q: Why are gay people never late for their flight?

A: They get their shit packed the night before.

My Grandpa was supposed to be in 9/11, but airport security got him.

I'm a pilot and my boss told me to fly people to New York, so I flew them to New York and hit the towers. That was a tragic story.

A gay couple and a lesbian couple are going to the airport, which one gets there first? The lesbian, duh, they get there "lickety-split."

I told my friend to fly a plane,

But he threw a ramp off a roof.

The terrorists lost their landing gear and had to make a crash landing into the closest building because religion.

Your forehead is so big, I could land a jet plane on it.

Chuck Norris doesn't fly on airplanes.

Airplanes fly on Chuck Norris.

You live in the airport.

"Hey, look, that plane is getting bigge-"

(The plane) we can’t go over it, we can’t go under it. Oh no, we have to go through it.