Airport jokes

I was confused when they asked me, "Do you know how to fly a plane?" Then, when I said, "No," they said, "Perfect!"

When 9/11 happened, we changed our airport policies. When school shootings happen, we haven't changed anything since the shooting at Columbine in 1999. And we say we want the children to be safe.

When 9/11 happened, we changed our airport policies. When school shootings happen, we haven't changed anything since the shooting at Columbine in 1999. And we say we want the children to be safe.

I just watched a 9/11 documentary on a plane. Man next to me said, "You know we're going to New York, right?" I told him I just wanna know what I got into.

I guess making 9/11 jokes at the airport is better than shouting "He's got a gun!" at the airport.

Dear Victims... äh Passengers, we are flying now from Ryadh to New York. Amazing Building... äh Amazing City. There's online, but 2000 there were two Towers... äh Restaurants. We hijack the plane... äh Hi Jack. Jack is my co-pilot, and I said hello. Don‘t scream... History Repea... äh... History never comes back, we are now flying back to the Airport. 💀

Why aren’t Make-A-Wish kids allowed to fly?

Because they rarely make it out of the terminal.

What's a tower's favorite bagel? I don't know, but it ain't plain.

I caught a cold, Mary Earp caught the ball, what did the towers catch? The plane.

(The plane) we can’t go over it, we can’t go under it. Oh no, we have to go through it.

You live in the airport.

Kobe Bryant ain’t flying that well anymore.

What did the plane say to the tower?

"Give me a kiss."

The plane said to the tower, "You're so cute, I want to come crashing into your arms!"

You're so bald, United Airlines has asked for permission to land.

"Hey, look, that plane is getting bigge-"

My dad died in 9/11. At least he did what he loves best: flying planes.

Here comes the airplane.

9/11 happens the next day.

What's a building's first crush? A plane.

My Grandpa was supposed to be in 9/11, but airport security got him.