Airport jokes
Q: Why did the islamic chicken cross the road?
A: To get to the airport.
What did the North tower say to the south tower? "Sorry, can't talk, got to catch a plane."
People often ask me what I would do for a Klondike bar. Well, I'd straight up put 5 hijackers on Flight 175 before it departed from Logan Airport at 8:14 a.m. on September 11, 2001.
What has two left legs 🦵 but can’t walk? An airport.
Why did the planes crash into the Twin Towers?
Because the cleaner left the landing lights on!
Q: Why are gay people never late for their flight?
A: They get their shit packed the night before.
Chuck Norris doesn't fly on airplanes.
Airplanes fly on Chuck Norris.
I guess this is pretty plane.
I am sorry I am just winging it.
Wow, I guess these jokes haven't taken off.
Wow, I just landed that one!
You're so bald, United Airlines has asked for permission to land.
As an actor going to film a new TV show in another country, when TSA asks, "What’s the purpose of your visit?"... "I’m going to shoot a pilot" is never a good answer.
My mom once ate a full giant cheesecake, and we were walking to our flight back home, and she had to sh*t.
We were walking to the bathroom, and she full on [did it] in front of the carousel. She had a lump of poo in her pants... True story, haha!
My Grandpa was supposed to be in 9/11, but airport security got him.
My dad died in 9/11. At least he did what he loves best: flying planes.
Kobe Bryant ain’t flying that well anymore.
Last week, I was on a plane to Manchester when suddenly the plane was hit by a ball. I wondered where it came from, but I soon realized it was none other than Penaldo practicing his free kicks. Shame on you, Penaldo, for almost killing me!
"Hey, look, that plane is getting bigge-"
The plane said to the tower, "You're so cute, I want to come crashing into your arms!"
What do you call an Indian plane that comes back?
A Boomerang.
My dad died in 9/11.
But he was the pilot.
Why did the terrorist cross the road?
To get to the airport!
