Airport jokes
What's a building's first crush? A plane.
My mom once ate a full giant cheesecake, and we were walking to our flight back home, and she had to sh*t.
We were walking to the bathroom, and she full on [did it] in front of the carousel. She had a lump of poo in her pants... True story, haha!
"Water exists."
Airport security: "What the fuck did you just say?"
You're so bald, United Airlines has asked for permission to land.
I caught a cold, Mary Earp caught the ball, what did the towers catch? The plane.
The plane said to the tower, "You're so cute, I want to come crashing into your arms!"
Why did the planes crash into the Twin Towers?
Because the cleaner left the landing lights on!
What did one plane say to the other?
"It’s been a long day, I’m ready to crash."
Other plane: "No you’re not, we haven’t even gotten high yet!"
I was coming out of airport and a rober kept his gun on my head I requested him please don't kill me as I have my old mom and dad at my home . Kill Them.
Dear Victims... äh Passengers, we are flying now from Ryadh to New York. Amazing Building... äh Amazing City. There's online, but 2000 there were two Towers... äh Restaurants. We hijack the plane... äh Hi Jack. Jack is my co-pilot, and I said hello. Don‘t scream... History Repea... äh... History never comes back, we are now flying back to the Airport. 💀
My friend Amir didn’t have the greatest driving record because of all the car crashes he got in. He only crashed his plane once in a building, so he had a much better flying record.
They asked JFK Jr. if he wanted to shower before his flight. He said, "No, I'll just wash up on shore!"
Why use Heathrow when we have your forehead?
I guess this is pretty plane.
I am sorry I am just winging it.
Wow, I guess these jokes haven't taken off.
Wow, I just landed that one!
What do you call a kid with cancer walking through the airport?
•Terminal
How do stars die? Usually a overdose in an airport.
What has two left legs 🦵 but can’t walk? An airport.
Q: Why did the islamic chicken cross the road?
A: To get to the airport.
People often ask me what I would do for a Klondike bar. Well, I'd straight up put 5 hijackers on Flight 175 before it departed from Logan Airport at 8:14 a.m. on September 11, 2001.
