Airplane jokes
A guy goes into his attic to clean it out and finds an old oil lamp. He thinks he could sell it instead of throwing it away, so he starts to rub it and out pops this genie. The genie says to him, "Thank you for awakening me, I can grant you three wishes as a token of my gratitude." The guy wishes for a billion dollars, the genie grants it. The guy then asks for a huge mansion with 2 Lamborghinis and 2 Ferraris, the genie grants it.
The genie says, "This is your last wish so really make this one count." The guy says, "Well, I've always wanted to drive out to the Hawaiian islands, because airplanes scare me to death, so I would want a highway that could stretch from here all the way to the islands." The Genie says, "That is asking for quite a lot and I'm not sure if I can pull that off, is there anything else you'd want?" The guy says, "Well, I've been married and divorced three times, and I just can't understand what I've been doing wrong. I've given my ex-wives all the love and care that I could, but in the end it was never enough. I would want to have the ability to understand women." The genie thinks for a few moments and says, "Do you want a three or four lane highway?"
Damn, this new Angry Birds is fire!
When you are being spoon-fed and your mum says, "Here comes the airplane."
How are rape and an airplane similar?
The ride gets more annoying when the kid starts screaming.
Did you know the food that was on the plane?
It was the bomb.
Why couldn't people have their phone on airplane mode during 9/11?
Because their phone exploded the towers.
You think on a airplane when a muslim guy gets on, people look at him and think... "Aw, fuck."
Why did Hitler lose the war?
Because Göring ate every last airplane, tank, artillery, ship, and ammunition!
Throw a few paper airplanes at the twins in your class, see if they fall.
My dad died in 9/11. At least he did what he loves best: flying planes.
What did the Twin Towers' mom say when she fed them? "Open wide honey, here comes the airplane."
Scientists make skyscrapers and airplanes.
Religion crashes them.
What do women and airplanes have in common?
A cockpit.
Run, or something will come to you, and you will be afraid to tell it to stop following you.
I want to make another joke about Josef Vasicek, but I think if I make the NHL, I'll die in an airplane crash, so I won't risk it again.
Why were the Twin Towers scared at dinner?
Because their mom said, "Here comes the airplane!"
People always told me to open doors for elders. So I opened the plane door 5,000 feet up in the air for a grandma.
My dick hard.
What road goes all the way to the sky? A highway.
Teacher: Why did you throw paper airplanes at the twin sisters?
Me: You wouldn't get it.