Agriculture jokes
A momma cow and three baby calves are on a farm. The first baby calf asks the momma cow, "Mom, why is my name Rose?"
The mom responded, "Well, you see, when you were born, a rose petal fell on your head."
The second one asks her, "Then why is my name Daisy?"
The mom chuckled and simply replied with, "When you were born, Daisy petals fell on your head."
The last one said, "DUH DUR SURH!"
The mom said, "SHUT UP, CINDER BLOCK!"
Why did the farmer go to the strip club?
Because he was looking for his hoe.
What happens to grapes when you step on them? They wine.
What happened when a cow jumps over a barbed wire fence? Complete and utter destruction.
The cow was stuck because 3 retarded piggies were blocking him.
What did the cow say to the pigs, "MOOOVE!"
What is the worst part of milking a cow? The smell of the dairy air.
What do shemales and barns have in common?
Cocks.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
He forgot his eggs.
One time, a cow saved my life.
It was bovine intervention.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the idiot's house.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
The chicken.
How are a mouse and a bale of hay alike?
The cat'll eat it (the cattle eat it).
Cow: *can't be milked for 20 years*
9/11:
Where were the first orange trees 🍊🌳 planted?
In Orange County.
Why couldn’t the dairy farmer find his home? He lost the whey!😅
Hey girl, are you a farmer? Because you sure know how to raise a cock.
Why can you never find a virgin cow on a field with no bulls for miles? Just ask the redneck farmer.
Why did Ms. Grapes 🍇 want to marry Mr. Grapes 🍇?
Because she loves raisin kids.
What do you call a united cow?
United Steaks.
Four cows went to the county fair. They saw a sign that said that next year animals can enter a singing contest. They decided that they would enter next year. So they called their group the "4 Cs Quartet" since their names were Clementine, Candy, Cookie, and Columbine.
They discovered how they could win. After a discussion, they decided to eat as much corn as possible, so they would sing in perfect 4 part hominy.
So in class, they were learning about where food comes from:
Teacher: So kids, where does bacon come from?
Student: PIGS!
Teacher: Correct. Where does mutton come from?
Student: SHEEP!
Teacher: And finally, here’s your homework.
Student: IK where that comes from!
A FAT COW! 😂😂