Agriculture jokes
There are 30 cows in a field, 28 chickens. How many didn't?
A - 10
Back in my day, the chicken dance was where the hen got raped by an angry pack of roosters.
What's the difference between an orphan and a vegetable?
The vegetable gets picked.
A young peasant coming from the field with his scythe on his shoulder notices an attractive young woman that was doing the laundry in a mountain stream, perched on some rocks near a waterfall.
The guy stops and leans against his scythe, fascinated by the young girl's beauty.
After minutes of watching her, she loses her balance, slips on a rock and falls all the way down, crushing her head on the white rocks.
Thoughtful, he puts his scythe back on his shoulder and walks away, saying to himself "Damn, another washing machine destroyed by limestone!"
(There was a mommy tomato, a daddy tomato, and a baby tomato.)
Baby: Wait for me!
(Father tomato walks back toward the baby.)
(He squishes the child.)
Father: Ketchup!
There was a chicken sitting on the bench. Then came another one. Then there were two.
Why was the cow afraid?
Because he was a cow-herd!
What do you call a gay cow? A gay cow.
The grapes in the supermarket are really raisin' the bars...
Why did the boy put a chicken 🐔 in his garden?
He wanted to grow an eggplant. 😂
Why does a milking stool have 3 legs?
Because the cow has the udder one.
Why don't black lives matter anymore?
Because a harvester is more efficient at picking crops than slaves.
A scarecrow said this job isn't for everyone.
But hay! It's in my jeans!
Why wouldn’t Mrs. Grapes leave her children behind?
Because she loves raisin kids.
So, about a year ago I was riding a horse, and out of nowhere the horse tried to flip me off it and I fell off. I would have been OK, but my foot got stuck in the stirrup. The horse dragged me along and didn't stop.
I would have died if it weren't for the Walmart manager who came out and unplugged the horse.
Wanna hear a joke about corn?
Never mind, it's too corny.
What kinds of apples grow on trees?
All of them.
What do ya call a legless prostitute in a strawberry field?
A jammy cunt.
Why did the farmer eat a fork?
'Cause he's a dumbass.
What do you call a herd of cows pleasuring themselves? Beef strokin’ off!