What did the farmer who lost his tractor say?
*waits 25 seconds*
"I lost my tractor!"
What is the same thing between apples and orphans?
Apples actually get picked.
What did the mama cow say to the baby cow?
Mooooooo my secret is that it's pasture bedtime, but not pasture bedtime!
What do you call a cow with all of his legs? High steaks.
How do you get a country girl's attention? A tractor.
What do you call a cow?
A cow!
What do you call a cow with three legs?
Tri-tip!
What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.
What do you call a cow with three legs? Lean beef.
What do you call a cow with two legs? Read the title.
How does white people's backyard look like? Cotton field!
My life is such an udder disappointment. What an udder failure!
My friend had a house FULL of okra, but it blew up and okra was everywhere.
I guess you can call that place Okra-homa!
The chicken is actually a fruit because it is grown on a pole-tree.
What do you call a stick that comes back a chicken?
A woman went into her garden and danced in front of her vegetables.
The next morning, her corn didn’t grow, and the tomatoes didn’t blush or turn red, but the cucumbers grew four inches.
We have invented the spade! This is groundbreaking!
Why did the astronaut bring the seeds to space?
Because he wants to planet the seed! 🤣🤣🤣
Why did the cow go to space? To go to the moon!
There was a chicken sitting on the bench. Then came another one. Then there were two.
So, about a year ago I was riding a horse, and out of nowhere the horse tried to flip me off it and I fell off. I would have been OK, but my foot got stuck in the stirrup. The horse dragged me along and didn't stop.
I would have died if it weren't for the Walmart manager who came out and unplugged the horse.
There are three men walking down the road, and they come across a farm that is for sale. The three men look at each other and put all their money together to buy the farm. On that farm, there is a cow, a monkey, and a bunch of cow food. The men are out of money, and the farm is going out of business.
One of the men sees that there is a contest for the biggest cow in the county. They entered the contest, but the cow is so thin. Every time they tried to feed the cattle, it would poop and lose weight again, so one of them suggested that they put a cork up the cow's behind. The first guy says, "Okay, then go put a cork there."
"I don't want to do it. You do it."
"No, you do it."
The third guy says, "Let's just get the monkey to do it." And the monkey puts the cork in the cow's behind. They win the biggest cow contest and get the money they need to save the farm.
The second guy realizes that they need to take the cork out of the cow. "Guys, we need to take the cork out of the cow," he says.
"Well, I'm not going to do it. You do it."
"No, you do it."
The third guy says, "Let's just get the monkey to do it again." So the monkey uncorks the cow, and there was a huge explosion. A few days later, the three men wake up in the hospital.
The doctor walks up to the first man and asks, "What happened?"
The first man replies, "All I remember is that horrible sound."
The doctor walks up to the second man and asks, "What happened?"
"All I remember is that horrible smell..."
The doctor walks up to the third man and again asks the same question. The third man looks at him and says, "All I remember is that poor poor monkey trying to put the cork back in."
