Agriculture jokes
What is the difference between an orphan and an apple tree?
Apples get picked.
Q: What do you call a nosy pepper?
A: Jalapeño business!
What do you call a herd of winning cows?
A topside.
Why do cows do it for the mooooooooooooooooooo?
Farmer's Wife: Honey, where are the cows?
Farmer: Up in the mountains grazing.
Farmer's Wife: Why?
Farmer: I don't know, but the steaks have never been higher.
Why are orphans different from apples?
Apples get picked.
What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor?
"Where is my tractor?"
What do you call a cow that is secret?
AnonyMOOus.
What place can you find a cow? Mc'Donalds (Eieio)
I lick cows for my mother.
Why did ze cow cross the road?
yo watch his mum getting butchered she was an udder failure.
Knock knock.
Who is there?
Cows go.
Cows go who?
No, cows go moooooooooooo, not whooooooooooooooooooooo!
Two cows are standing in a field.
Cow 1: Did you hear about the outbreak of mad cow disease?
Cow 2: Good thing I'm a helicopter.
What do you call a dancing cow that dies while dancing?
Dead mooves.
What do you call a dabbing cow?
Udder savagery.
There are 30 cows in a field, 28 chickens. How many didn't?
A - 10
Why do cows die?
'Cuz they are to beef.
There were 5 cows on a farm, one mom and 4 calves.
The first calf goes up to the mom and says, "Momma, why is my name Rose?"
The mother cow replies, "Well sweetie, when you were born, a rose petal fell on your head."
The second calf walks up and asks, "Momma, why is my name Lily?", to which the mom replies "Well honey, when you were born, a single lily petal fell on your head."
The third calf walks up, but before it can get a word out, the fourth calf screams at the top of its lungs. The mother cow yells, "Shut up, Cinderblock!"
Why did the cow go to space? To go to the moon.
"You're fat as a cow."
"......."
"Nope."