Agriculture jokes
Why was the cow scared? Cause he had a nightmoo-r.
What do cows read? The moospaper!
Why did the cow cross the road?
To go to the moovies.
What do you call a bull sleeping?
A bull-dozer.
What do you call a cow you can’t see?
Camooflauged.
I lick cows for my mother.
Why did ze cow cross the road?
yo watch his mum getting butchered she was an udder failure.
Two cows are standing in a field.
Cow 1: Did you hear about the outbreak of mad cow disease?
Cow 2: Good thing I'm a helicopter.
Knock knock.
Who is there?
Cows go.
Cows go who?
No, cows go moooooooooooo, not whooooooooooooooooooooo!
What do you call a dancing cow that dies while dancing?
Dead mooves.
What do you call a dabbing cow?
Udder savagery.
There are 30 cows in a field, 28 chickens. How many didn't?
A - 10
Why do cows die?
'Cuz they are to beef.
There were 5 cows on a farm, one mom and 4 calves.
The first calf goes up to the mom and says, "Momma, why is my name Rose?"
The mother cow replies, "Well sweetie, when you were born, a rose petal fell on your head."
The second calf walks up and asks, "Momma, why is my name Lily?", to which the mom replies "Well honey, when you were born, a single lily petal fell on your head."
The third calf walks up, but before it can get a word out, the fourth calf screams at the top of its lungs. The mother cow yells, "Shut up, Cinderblock!"
Why did the cow go to space? To go to the moon.
"You're fat as a cow."
"......."
"Nope."
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to your house.
Knock, knock.
"Who's there?"
"Nobody, because chickens don't talk."
What did the farmer who lost his tractor say?
*waits 25 seconds*
"I lost my tractor!"
How do you get a country girl's attention? A tractor.
What is the same thing between apples and orphans?
Apples actually get picked.