Agriculture jokes
A lady from the city and her traveling companion were riding the train through Vermont when she noticed some cows. "What a cute bunch of cows!" she remarked.
"Not a bunch, a herd," her friend replied.
"Heard of what?"
"Herd of cows."
"Of course I've heard of cows."
"No, a cow herd."
"What do I care what a cow heard? I have no secrets to keep from a cow!"
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the idiot's house.
Knock knock?
Who's there?
The chicken!
What do you call a dabbing cow?
Udder savagery.
A farm full of cows were bombed, and only two survived. All of the udders died.
Where do cows stop to drink?
The Milky Way!
Abe vs The South
What’s a green cucumber?
A carrot.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Interrupting cow.
Interrupting cow wh---
MOOOO!
What do pimps and farmers have in common?
They both need a hoe to stay in business.
1. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.
2. Why did the melon jump into the lake? It wanted to be a water-melon.
3. What did the duck say when it bought lipstick? “Put it on my bill.”
4. What do you call a pig that does karate? A pork chop.
5. What has a bed that you can’t sleep in? A river.
6. Why were the teacher’s eyes crossed? She couldn’t control her pupils.
7. What starts with E, ends with E, and has only 1 letter in it? An Envelope.
8. How does the ocean say hello? It waves.
9. What lights up a soccer stadium? A soccer match.
10. What creature is smarter than a talking parrot? A spelling bee.
11. Which U.S. state has the smallest soft drinks? Minnesota (as in, “mini-soda”).
12. Why couldn’t the leopard play hide and seek? Because he was always spotted.
13. Apparently, you can’t use “beef stew” as a password. It’s not stroganoff.
14. Why did the drum take a nap? It was beat.
15. Where do hamburgers go dancing? They go to the meat-ball.
16. Why did the tomato turn red? It saw the salad dressing.
17. Why shouldn’t you write with a broken pencil? Because it’s pointless.
What happens when you see corn looking at you in your window?
A corn stalk!
What do you call a cow that doesn't stop shaking?
A milkshake.
What do you call a cow you can’t see?
Camooflauged.
So I'm a cow, guess what my dad thinks of that? He says I'm a loooosmer.
What do you call a cow that's on the ground? Ground beef.
What do you call a cow with 2 legs?
Lean meat.
The udder day I drank milk.
It was udderly delicious!
Why do cows have hooves?
Because they lactose!
What's the definition of suspicious?...
A nun doing sit-ups in a cucumber field. 💀
Why didn’t the grape 🍇 leave her family?
Because she loved raisin' kids!
What time is it when a cow sits on your fence? Time to get a new fence!