Agriculture jokes
What's an orphan's favorite flower?
Self-raising flour.
Where did the cow go on his first date? To the moovies.
What did the angry cow say to its enemy?
"We have beef!"
Why didn't the cows eat the lemon grass?
It made sour milk.
The flower made a phone call and became cauliflower.
Why couldn't the man get out of the maize maze?
He got corn-ered!
What does a cow use in school? A cowculator.
What's the difference between an orphan and an apple tree? The apples get picked.
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
An apple gets picked.
What do a pimp and a farmer have in common?
They both need a hoe to stay in business.
How do you fix a cracked pumpkin? With a pumpkin patch!
A lady from the city and her traveling companion were riding the train through Vermont when she noticed some cows. "What a cute bunch of cows!" she remarked.
"Not a bunch, a herd," her friend replied.
"Heard of what?"
"Herd of cows."
"Of course I've heard of cows."
"No, a cow herd."
"What do I care what a cow heard? I have no secrets to keep from a cow!"
What did the cow say when it saw the farmer twice in one day?
"Deja moo!"
Two cows were hiding.
One said: "Moooo."
The other one said: "Shut up! We're hiding!"
Hey girl, are you a farmer? Because you sure know how to raise a cock.
The grapes in the supermarket are really raisin' the bars...
What do you call a baby potato?
Small fry!
What kinds of apples grow on trees?
All of them.
What do you call a cow that has two legs shorter on one side of its body compared to the other?
LEAN BEEF!
What do ya call a legless prostitute in a strawberry field?
A jammy cunt.