Agriculture jokes
Why didn't the cows eat the lemon grass?
It made sour milk.
What did the angry cow say to its enemy?
"We have beef!"
How do you fix a cracked pumpkin? With a pumpkin patch!
What's the difference between an orphan and an apple tree? The apples get picked.
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
An apple gets picked.
What do a pimp and a farmer have in common?
They both need a hoe to stay in business.
The flower made a phone call and became cauliflower.
What does a cow use in school? A cowculator.
Why couldn't the man get out of the maize maze?
He got corn-ered!
A lady from the city and her traveling companion were riding the train through Vermont when she noticed some cows. "What a cute bunch of cows!" she remarked.
"Not a bunch, a herd," her friend replied.
"Heard of what?"
"Herd of cows."
"Of course I've heard of cows."
"No, a cow herd."
"What do I care what a cow heard? I have no secrets to keep from a cow!"
What did the cow say when it saw the farmer twice in one day?
"Deja moo!"
Hey girl, are you a farmer? Because you sure know how to raise a cock.
Two cows were hiding.
One said: "Moooo."
The other one said: "Shut up! We're hiding!"
The grapes in the supermarket are really raisin' the bars...
What does the Cow say to the spy?
"Are you udder cover?"
What do you call a baby potato?
Small fry!
What kinds of apples grow on trees?
All of them.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the idiot's house.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
The chicken.
What do you call a cow that has two legs shorter on one side of its body compared to the other?
LEAN BEEF!
Teacher: "Kids, what does the chicken give you?"
Students: "Meat."
Teacher: "Very good. Now what does the pig give you?"
Students: "Bacon."
Teacher: "And finally, what does the fat cow give you?"
One of the students: "Homework!"