Agriculture jokes
Why couldn't the farmer tend to the crops?
Because he's got no arms.
What is the worst part of milking a cow?
The smell of the dairy air.
What does a broken down vegetable say?
I need new wheels.
What is the difference between a cow and 9/11?
You can’t milk a cow for 15 years.
Why did the cow go to outer space?
To see the moooon!
Why does the Democratic party want the Republican party to breed rabbits?
Because Democrats are tired of paying for raisins at the grocery store.
What's the difference between an apple tree and an orphan? The apples get picked.
What did the cow say to the leather chair?
“Hi Mom!”
The udder day I drank milk.
It was udderly delicious!
Why was the calf afraid?
Because she was a cow-herd.
She said you can twerk, so I put her in a tractor and put her to work. She got mad at me and said, "There's no good men," but I gave her a kob and equal pay!
What is the difference between an orphan and an apple?
Apples get picked.
What's the difference between an orphan and an apple?
One's actually picked.
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple actually got picked.
A farm full of cows were bombed, and only two survived. All of the udders died.
Where do cows go to see the big screen? The mooo-vie theater.
What happens to grapes when you step on them? They wine.
How do you get a cow to eat?
Give it mooshrooms!
"We've invented the spade!"
"Oh wow, this is ground-breaking!"
Why did the roster cross the road twice?
To prove it was not a chicken.