Agriculture jokes
So, about a year ago I was riding a horse, and out of nowhere the horse tried to flip me off it and I fell off. I would have been OK, but my foot got stuck in the stirrup. The horse dragged me along and didn't stop.
I would have died if it weren't for the Walmart manager who came out and unplugged the horse.
How do you stop a bull from charging? Cancel its credit card.
What’s a green cucumber?
A carrot.
Rabbit poop is cereal.
What do you call a cow with 2 legs?
Lean meat.
murder
What college do cows go to?
The Mooniversity.
Why did the scarecrow get an award? He was outstanding in his field. Okay, I'll admit it's corny.
What's the difference between an orphan and an apple tree? The apples get picked.
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple gets picked.
What do cows eat for breakfast?? Steer cereal.
What's the difference between an orphan and a vegetable?
The vegetable gets picked.
What is it called when a cow sings? A lawsuit.
Sneed feed seed.
Formerly Chuck's!
What do you call a cowboy with Down syndrome? A whipped potato.
(There was a mommy tomato, a daddy tomato, and a baby tomato.)
Baby: Wait for me!
(Father tomato walks back toward the baby.)
(He squishes the child.)
Father: Ketchup!
What did the green grape say to the purple grape?
"Breathe... Breathe..."
The only time that cows will make noise is when they are in the moooo-d.
What do ya call a legless prostitute in a strawberry field?
A jammy cunt.
What do cows use for math? A cow-culator 😏
What do you call a group of masturbating cows?
Beef stroganoff.