What do ya call a legless prostitute in a strawberry field?
A jammy cunt.
So in class, they were learning about where food comes from:
Teacher: So kids, where does bacon come from?
Student: PIGS!
Teacher: Correct. Where does mutton come from?
Student: SHEEP!
Teacher: And finally, here’s your homework.
Student: IK where that comes from!
A FAT COW! 😂😂
I was going to tell you a cow joke...
But it's pasture bed time.
What do shemales and barns have in common?
Cocks.
How are a mouse and a bale of hay alike?
The cat'll eat it (the cattle eat it).
Why did the farmer eat a fork?
'Cause he's a dumbass.
Old Mother Riley, had a fat cow.
She milked it and milked it but didn't know how, she pulled his tail, pulled his tits. Old Mother Riley was covered in sh!t.
A young peasant coming from the field with his scythe on his shoulder notices an attractive young woman that was doing the laundry in a mountain stream, perched on some rocks near a waterfall.
The guy stops and leans against his scythe, fascinated by the young girl's beauty.
After minutes of watching her, she loses her balance, slips on a rock and falls all the way down, crushing her head on the white rocks.
Thoughtful, he puts his scythe back on his shoulder and walks away, saying to himself "Damn, another washing machine destroyed by limestone!"
What did the angry cow say to its enemy?
"We have beef!"
What do cows use to do their homework? A cowculator.
American: How do you use a PC?
Amish: We use a potato.
Why can't you tell a joke in a corn maze?
Because there's too many ears.
What did mama cow say to baby cow? -- "It's pasture bedtime."
What happens when you mess with a farmer? You get the whole ranch.
What do you get when you cross a cow with a coffee bean grower?
De-calf!
Why don't Amish people water ski?
Because their horses would drown.
What do you call a cow with two legs?
Lean beef.
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef.
A momma cow and three baby calves are on a farm. The first baby calf asks the momma cow, "Mom, why is my name Rose?"
The mom responded, "Well, you see, when you were born, a rose petal fell on your head."
The second one asks her, "Then why is my name Daisy?"
The mom chuckled and simply replied with, "When you were born, Daisy petals fell on your head."
The last one said, "DUH DUR SURH!"
The mom said, "SHUT UP, CINDER BLOCK!"
If I look after chickens, does that make me a chicken tender?
The only time that cows will make noise is when they are in the moooo-d.
