Age jokes
What did the pedophile say to the nutcracker?
"Aren't you a little too young to be doing that?"
Yo mama so fat and old, she lifted her boob to wash under it, and a pilgrim fell from under it.
My girlfriend keeps calling me a pedophile. That's a big word for a seven year old.
Girls are like math; if they're under ten, then you use your fingers.
Max likes his girls like he likes his wine. 7 years old and locked in his basement.
Little girls are like basic math. If they're under 13, you do them in your head.
What do McDonald's and a priest have in common? They both put their meat in 10 year old buns.
My friend told me he had a sister. I asked if she was hot, and he said she was 8. That wasn't my question.
A pedophile is chatting on the internet: "On a scale of one to ten, how old are you?"
What's the best thing about 28 year olds?
- There's 20 of them.
As a 13 year old, online dating is a tough thing.
Every time I meet someone new, they end up in jail.
I have just started a sexual relationship with a blind woman. It's very rewarding, but quite challenging.
Took me ages to get her husband's voice right.
Why does Bill Clinton wear boxers? -- To keep his ankles warm.
"Son, I found a condom in your room."
"Gee, thanks, Grandpa!"
"Why are you calling me Grandpa?"
"Because I couldn't find it yesterday."
Yo mama so old, she knew Burger King when he was a prince.
An old teacher asked her student, "If I say, 'I am beautiful,' which tense is that?" The student replied, "It is obviously past."
Old mathematicians never die; they just lose some of their functions.
Why were the Middle Ages called the Dark Ages?
Because there were too many knights.