Aed jokes
Are all orphans home-a-phobic?
What has more brains than a student in a school shooting? The wall behind them.
Why can’t orphans get in trouble?
Because there’s no one to give a phone call home to.
Whenever you wanna roast an orphan, say "yo mamma".
What do you call a nervous Jedi?
Panakin.
What kind of dog can do magic tricks?
A labracadabrador.
What do you call an Indian with a wooden leg? Shit on a stick.
What do you call an Indian with two wooden legs? A waste of lumber.
What happened to the man who made too many bad jokes? He served out a cruel and unusual PUNishment.
What is so similar about a concrete block and a garden?
They both make vegetables.
If a cat hits you with her tail, is it considered being pussy whipped?
A mother and her 7 year old child are walking in the grocery store. The young boy then screams to a random woman “you're an ugly bitch.”
The mother grabs her son and says, “I’m so sorry, I must have told him a thousand of times to not judge people on how they look."
How do you turn a duck into a soul singer?
Put him in the microwave until his bill Withers.
Two fish were in a tank. One turned to the other and asked: "Hey, how do you drive this thing?"
If you humped a whale, it would humpback.
Why is James depressed?........ because he's a bitch.
I don't get why people don't like my abortion jokes. Do they have a stick up their ass? Wait, that's the other hole.
How do you get a baby into a small bowl?
A blender.
How do you get it out? Tostito chips.
What’s the difference between an onion and a photo of a dead relative? Nothing, they both make you cry when you look at it.
Q: What season can an orphan see their family tree?
A: Fall.
If you don't get it, in the fall trees have no leaves, there [are] just empty branches, like an orphan's tree.
One day, little Johnny and little Susan were in bible class. Little Susan had been tired that day, so she kept falling asleep. The teacher said to little Susan, "Who is our Lord and Savior?" Little Johnny poked her in the butt with a push pin, and she yelled, "Jesus Christ!" The teacher goes, "That's right, go back to bed." Then, the next thing the teacher asked was, "Who gave up their son for our sins?" Little Johnny poked her again, and she yelled, "God Almighty!" The teacher says, "That's right, go back to bed." The next question the teacher asked was, "What did Adam say to Eve after their 13th child?" Little Johnny poked her in the butt again. She yelled, "If you stick that thing in me again, I am going to break it in half and shove it up your own ass and see how you like it!"