Aed jokes

Just watched an upsetting video. Please retweet. #Stop The Make-A-Wish Foundation.

Some babies may be delivered via stork, but some bigger babies are gonna need a crane.

Q: What do you call a clean idiot?

A: Soap on a Dope.

What do you call frozen web?

A web-cicle.

Q: What do you call a tsunami?

A: Your mom's water breaking.

I was trying to make a joke about fighting, but I couldn't come up with a good punchline.

I'd tell you a joke about infinity, but I'm afraid it will never end.

What do you call a goldfish that got third place? A bronze fish.

Q: What’s the difference between a sleeping lady and an onion?

A: One doesn’t scream when you try to chop it up.

A magician is driving, but then he "turns" into a driveway.

If you get this joke, you have no personality at all. Send all the help you can get:).

Q: What is the difference between a drunk and a stoner at a stop sign?

A: The drunk guy runs it, and the stoner waits for it to turn green!

I'm making a new movie, it's called "Veggie Tales." My star actor is Stephen Hawking.

I was asked to give a bicycle joke, but I couldn't...

I was two tired.

Do you want to hear a joke about a construction?

Sorry, still working on it!

Q: Why do men say "ladies first?"

A: So they can look at their a**.

Robert Smith walks into a hospital. The nurse says, "We have the cure!"

You know what a big ass is. If I told you it's a fake ass, so I'm lesbo.

A sibling went up to their other sibling and said, "Dad said you're adopted."

The other sibling said, "You are, too."

Then the first sibling goes, "No, I'm not."

And the sibling says, "We're twins."

The other kid goes, "And you're adopted... oh."

Kid: Hey, Dad.

Dad: You're an hour late.

Kid: No, it was two hours. Also, I was working on math.

Dad: By yourself?

Kid: No.

Dad: A boy?

Kid: I was with the teacher.

Why can't orphans go to homecoming? Because they don't have a home to go to.