Aed jokes
Q: What do you call a gay cowboy?
A: A jolly rancher.
Q: What did one gay cowboy say to the other gay cowboy?
A: Hayyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!
When the quiet kid lost a game of basketball and reaches into his bag,
other people in the gym: "Oh shit this nigga bout to shoot."
I was hit by a car. Later, my ex lost her bus job.
So, I saw two homeless people on the road fighting. I said, "Stop fighting and go home." I guess it was a little insensitive.
Yo mama so dumb, when Fox Five said it's chilly outside, she brought a bowlllllll!
A boy named Jimmy was riding to Hell to save his brothers and sister. That is the last place he pissed. There came across the Devil.
Part 1
My name is Jafar. I come from afar. There's a bomb in my car. Allahu Akbar!
Q: Why do orphans hate Fast and Furious movies?
A: Because they say "family" too often.
What do you do to a pregnant lady on a step?
Push 'em.
There’s this girl who gets bullied for being in a wheelchair.
Why don’t she stand up for herself?
Q: Why can't the orphan buy Robux?
A: He could not use his mother's credit card.
Some kid in a wheelchair called me fat.
I told her, "Do a wheelie!"
When does a kid become an orphan?
When the parents leave.
The US Navy Atlantic Fleet is closing in on the North American shores. Suddenly a blip on the radar appears and the radio starts crackling:
"Hello, please divert to 5° East to avoid collision. Thank you."
The commander starts answering:
"No, you divert 5° West to avoid collision. Over!"
"Sorry, sir, you are the one who should divert to 5° East! Over!"
"Listen to me, you asshole! We are the USS Washington, and we have an entire fleet at our disposal, and be sure we'll use all means necessary to keep ourselves safe!"
After a moment of silence, the radio crackled again:
"In case you still haven't figured out, we can't move BECAUSE THIS IS A LIGHTHOUSE!"
Why can't orphans play poker?
Because they don't know what a full house is.
Thomas Montgomery would eat his fillet of fish in bed every night. He had fillet of fish bedding and everything. His roommates always asked him, "Why are you eating your fillet of fish in bed?" He wouldn't reply.
His family took him to the best psychologist in the field. Thomas continued emptying his bank account on fillet of fish to eat in bed. His friend said one day, took a picture of Thomas and told him to say cheese. They laughed and went there separate ways. Then in bed that night, Thomas kept on thinking to himself, "I never said cheese before someone snapped my picture." He repeated it again. The next day he thanked his friend, "Fillet in him feel better."
Q. Why was the orphan unable to use the phone?
A. He was trying to phone home.
Me: I asked an orphan where his parents were. I also said that I promised to take him to them.
Orphan: They're dead.
Me: A promise made is a promise kept.
Q. What's an orphan's favorite South Park episode?
A. The anti-Family Guy episode.