Aed jokes
Lil Jimmy: Hey doc.
Doctor: Hi, sorry but I can’t see you anymore.
Lil Jimmy: Why?
Doctor: Because, Lil Jimmy, I’m a family doctor, you're an orphan.
Lil Jimmy: 👁👄👁🖕
What do you get when you cross a priest with a toilet?
Holy shit.
Ms. Norsworthy's chompers are so big they killed a kid once.
Zion is so big, when he walks it's an earthquake.
I'm required by law to tell you I am a registered sex offender.
What makes a child an orphan?
Their parents left them for good. :D
What's the difference between an emo kid and a leaf? Only the leaf reaches the ground.
Did you know an eraser on a pencil slowly dies from your mistakes?
And did you know you're actually supposed to live for 25 minutes, but every time you breathe, it resets time?
Why can't orphans ever get a car? Because they don't have a birth certificate.
Imagine getting a call and it says, "Welcome to David's orphanage. You make them, we take them. How may we help you?"
Russia and Ukraine are running a marathon. Who do you think won? Russia did. Russia gave Ukraine a migraine.
A fat man coming in the store.
Waiter: Oh god, not again :|
Fat man: Hi, I would like three fries and 19 burgers.
Waiter: Sorry sir, you will get the owner's store out of stock on food. Can I get you a salad instead?
Fat man: Oh sorry, but I'm the owner, and I have a lot of stocks. For the record, you should get yourself my order. You're skinny af, girl. You trying to be a stick or something?
Kid: Hi.
Janitor: Wtf you want, kid?
Kid: Why are you rude?
Janitor: 'Cause I have a shitty job.
Devil: Hey angel.
Angel: Hi devil, why are you nice?
Devil: What do angels add to their food to make it a little more spicy?
Angel: What?
Devil: Angelpinos!
So I asked my mom for a bath bomb, she just gave me a toaster.
A Souls fan raped me. He said, "Try finger, but hole."
I think I banged a Chinese celebrity...
She kept screaming “I’m Wei Tu Yung” like I was supposed to know the name.
How do you make an orphan cry? Ask to go over to his house if his parents are OK with it.
Why did the old man fall down a well?
He couldn't see that well.
My grandad said I'm too reliant on technology, so I called him a hypocrite and unplugged his life support.