Aed jokes

Bully: My d*ck is longer than your password. Me: I don't have a password. So you *won't* have a d*ck after I tear it off you.

I was bullying a little kid for having a purple eye and said, "Where'd you get that? Your mom? Your dad?"

After that, everyone in my group was laughing at the kid. The next day I never saw him again.

As a murderer, I stabbed a man after infiltrating his house. His wife came in and saw me. She fell into tears. I got up and said, "Drama queen!"

To the guy in a wheelchair who stole my camouflage coat: you can hide, but you can't run.

I had a huge crush on this girl when I was eight. One recess we met together on the playground, and she brought me to the corner of the playground. That was my first kiss, and from there it got serious. I told my parents a week later and they freaked out, called the police, and they arrested my crush. I miss Mrs. Johnson.

You're built like a double cheeseburger.

A guy walks into a restaurant and orders turtle soup. The waiter hollers, "One turtle soup!"

A moment later, the guy calls the waiter over and says, "I’ve changed my mind, I would like pea soup." The waiter hollers, "Hold the turtle, and make it pea!"

What's the difference between a wanted person and a wanted handicapped person? The handicapped person wasn’t last seen on foot.

What's the difference between the woods and a hooker?

Some hookers have passions for nature. Other hookers will Kill ThEIR Tricks for payback!!!!!!

A man walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder. The bartender asks, "Where'd you get that lovely thing?"

"Africa," the parrot replied.

What do you call an orphan family photo?

A selfie.

Pulp is a palindrome.

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Q: What’s Jackie Chan‘s favorite drink to have at a bar?

A: Wo-Tah!

I saw a dwarf and said, "He costs 2 elixir!"

He called the cops.

Life is like a penis. Other people make it hard.

What’s an orphan’s favorite cereal?

Because it’s the only magical string in his life.

What makes a raccoon 🦝 very rich?

Its rings!

In Ukraine, there was a massive wake-up call by Russia. But for some, the results were the opposite.

If I was a raped victim, would silence be the best medicine?

If reincarnation is correct, if you die now, you can be reborn and live a second life. If you were born in Ukraine, you can immediately live a third life.