Aed jokes
Gimme a nickel or I'll tickle your pickle!
Suicide isn't a joke. It's called "parkour gone wrong."
I see a kid crying in the park, right? So I go up to him and say, "Hey, where are your parents?" and he says, "Well, my dad left to get the milk and never came back, and my mother died in a plane crash in the Bermuda Triangle."
There is gonna be a huge party at the orphanage tonight because the parents ain't home.
Tony's wife got a divorce from Tony. She said she wanted to be an independent woman.
Days later, Tony's wife had an accident. Guess who's crawling back for help. 💀
Spend all night in a dark humor webpage.
Go to an orphanage today and read it to them.
And I'm sure if you go to a school for disabled children, they should understand it.
Q: How do you know when someone is an opposition leader to Putin?
A: When they are falling from their balcony.
Q: How do you know when Putin is lying?
A: His lips move.
Friend: Hi, orphan.
Orphan: Tell me a yo momma joke.
Friend: ummm
Orphan: Exactly, U can't.
Friend: Yo momma so disappointed she left!
How do you get a discount off groceries?
Scan the emo kid's wrists.
What do you call a kid in a wheelchair going through a fire? Ghost Rider.
What do you call a black person with a gun? Black ops.
My dog stepped on a bee, My child spilt my tea, I drank my hot tea, I broke my bloody knee, Now I'm lying in agony, And I'm devastated with no glee.
(Again, credits to my really funny friend)
Uranus is a cow, You may be wondering, how?
Uranus farts methane, And cows do the same.
What's the cool thing about bringing a pack of gum or a shotgun to school?
When you pull one out everybody wants to be your friend. :)
I swear every time I walk past a guy, they stare at my ass. I always keep wondering why it hurts so much.
So today I heard a friend say she had a stalker. I can confirm I've never seen a stalker following her.
What do people ask on a Friday night?
"Hey, wanna go to the Barb?"
What does Joyce do on a Saturday night?
Netflix and Will? Will? WILL!? WIIIILLLL?
What award does the Demogorgon get? A Emmygorgon.