Aed jokes
It turns out a major new study recently found that humans eat more bananas than monkeys. It's true.
I can't remember the last time I ate a monkey.
How is a child molester and Harambe the same? They both get shot for touching little kids.
A donut is not empty inside, that was a hole in the middle. If I'm a donut, the hole used to be where I put my feeling and happiness, but people snatch it away from me.
Anyway, can someone put a hole in my physical body too? I kinda wanted to see people cry for me just like how people cry for Ace from One Piece.
It smells like something died in my room, oh yeah, it's my dignity, hope, and my feeling. Put in the corner of my room, they make a decent blanket to wipe my tears.
I wanted to tell a commie a joke about food, but he’d have to wait 10 years to get it.
Just because you‘re suicidal, you don‘t have to be a quitter.
Wait, actually.
My wife cheated on me with my brother.
She didn't have a sister, so I improvised, and now all I have to do is wait nine months for one to come.
A midget had a disease, and the cure was on the highest shelf.
I saw a pretty girl walking outside. I asked for her number.
We met up and began to have sex. She told me to turn over, which was weird. I felt a stinging pain in my ass all of a sudden.
I asked my mom with cerebral palsy a question.
Still waiting on an answer.
What falls first from a tree, an apple or an emo?
The apple... the emo just hangs there.
The man was dangling by a string!
I was jealous the day he died.
What's the worst time to fly a plane?
Your balls are growing too big that they will pop like a balloon!
A girl has small balls.
Iron Man is just a golden retriever with a red background.
Why can't an orphan win a baseball game?
Because they can't reach home.
If my mom decides to get Chick-fil-A for dinner, and when I decide to eat my family for dinner, is that called cannibalism?
Why do orphans miss Mother’s Day? Because they don’t have a mother to give to!
What’s the best thing about Switzerland?
I don’t know, but the flag is a big plus.