Aed jokes
What is 6 inches and has nuts?
A Snickers bar.
If a lion ate a child, is the lion a child predator?
When I have a staring contest, I always win.
Every day, I see blind people who hate me.
You: I have a nice hairline.
Your friend: Since when do you have one?
You: I forgot.
Your forehead is so big that the teachers use it as a whiteboard.
I got a call from McDonald's; they want their sign back.
Why is Paul Walker a walker?
To let people know he isn't a driver.
Roses are red, Violets are blue, You a dumb a** b*tch, We all know it's true.
A man is dating three women and has to choose which one he'll marry. He decides to give them a test. He gives each woman a present of $5000 and watches to see what she does with the money.
The first woman does a total make-over. She goes to a fancy beauty salon, gets her hair done, new make up and buys several new outfits to look sexy for the man. She tells him that she has done this to be more attractive for him because she loves him so much. The man was impressed.
The second woman goes shopping to buy the man gifts. She gets him a new set of golf clubs, some new gizmos for his computer, and some expensive clothes. As she presents these gifts, she tells him that she has spent all the money on him because she loves him so much. Again, the man is impressed.
The third woman invests the money in the stock market. She earns several times the $5000. She gives him back his $5000 and reinvests the remainder in a joint account. She tells him that she wants to save for their future because she loves him so much. Obviously, the man was impressed.
The man thought for a long time about what each woman had done with the money... Then he married the one with the biggest breasts.
Why are orphans so bad at poker?
They don't know what a full house is.
What's the difference between an orphan and a baseball player?
The baseball player knows where home base is.
Twitter just blew my mind.
I was having a blast until I ended the stream with a bang!
Azibo works 10 hours a day in the sun and is paid 1 euro an hour. Thanks to a fundraiser we will be able to raise the necessary funds to buy a whip to make him work twice as much.
Your hairline is built like a license plate.
What’s the difference between a WNBA player and a rotten apple? The apple has a chance to make it into the basket.
One person said you are much more beautiful than Cinderella. The next day, you're in court and Cinderella is the witness.
(P.S. she was born to be a drama queen.)
They say mistakes make you stronger. If that were true, then whoever made that nonexistent thing called “women's rights” would have muscles bigger than a white girl.
Whenever a woman files a rape accusation, it’s obviously fake. Even the cows at my farm are more likely, at least they aren’t flat.
If I grew a nanometer taller for every 2/10 woman expecting a 6’3”+ guy, I would be considered attractive.💀
I left a ticket to a WNBA game on the dashboard when I went to go get the groceries.
A burglar broke in and left another one on the dashboard.