Aed jokes
Yesterday in my dream I ate a ten pound marshmallow, when I woke up, my pillow was gone.
Why couldn’t the toilet paper cross the road?
Because it was stuck in a crack.
Why do y’all call a pickup truck?
'Cause ya got a flat tire.
A tiny psychic escaped from jail, and the news said there a small medium at large.
Why can't the toilet paper cross the road? Because it got stuck in a crack!
What do you call an otter video game that is about robbing?-
Grand Theft Otter!
How do you make a baby cry?
You run over it with a lawn mower.
How do you make a baby cry?
You punch it in the face.
What's red, small, wet, and crawls up your leg?
A homesick abortion.
What do you call a fat chink?
Saturn.
What’s a skeleton’s favorite instrument? The trombone!
If 2 vegetables have an argument, it's called beef.
I saw a midget prisoner climbing down a ladder the other day and I thought, huh, that's a little con-descending.
A blondie and a redneck jumped off a building. Which one will land first?
The redneck because the blonde will ask for directions.
How many astronauts can you fit into a VW Bug? 11, 4 in the seats, seven in the ashtray.
What did God say when he made Jake Paul?
"Oops, I made a mistake."
What do you call a retarded Catholic?
Asperges.
What do you call a mushroom that makes music?
A decomposer.
A man is sitting in a chair. He is talking to the other friend about what they must cherish.
One says he cherishes his family, the other cherishes his parents, and a man comes in, points at the chair and says, “I CHAIRish my Chair” as he pulls up a chair.
What is the difference between 100 dead babies and a Mustang Challenger?
I don't have a Mustang Challenger in my garage.