Aed jokes
Somebody once told me the world is gonna roll me. I ain't the sharpest tool in the shed. She was looking kind of dumb with her finger and her thumb In the shape of an "L" on her forehead.
Well, the years start coming and they don't stop coming. Fed to the rules and I hit the ground running. Didn't make sense not to live for fun. Your brain gets smart but your head gets dumb.
So much to do, so much to see So what's wrong with taking the back streets? You'll never know if you don't go. You'll never shine if you don't glow.
[Chorus:] Hey, now, you're an All Star, get your game on, go play Hey, now, you're a Rock Star, get the show on, get paid. And all that glitters is gold Only shooting stars break the mold.
It's a cool place and they say it gets colder. You're bundled up now wait 'til you get older. But the meteor men beg to differ Judging by the hole in the satellite picture.
The ice we skate is getting pretty thin. The water's getting warm so you might as well swim. My world's on fire. How about yours? That's the way I like it and I'll never get bored.
[Chorus 2x]
Somebody once asked could I spare some change for gas. I need to get myself away from this place. I said yep, what a concept I could use a little fuel myself And we could all use a little change.
Well, the years start coming and they don't stop coming. Fed to the rules and I hit the ground running. Didn't make sense not to live for fun. Your brain gets smart but your head gets dumb.
So much to do, so much to see. So what's wrong with taking the back streets? You'll never know if you don't go. You'll never shine if you don't glow.
[Chorus]
And all that glitters is gold Only shooting stars break the mold.
The inmates are yelling 12...12...12... in the courtyard.
A man walking by is interested why the keep chanting 12...12...12... so he sticks his head through the fence and the inmate poked the man in the eye.
Moment later they start chanting 13...13...13...
What is a Jedi's favorite Italian dessert?
Obi-Wan Cannoli.
What kind of car does Yoda drive? A Toyoda.
At a date:
He: "I work with animals every day."
Me: "Oh, how sweet! What do you do?"
He: "I'm a butcher."
What is a Mexican's favorite type of dog?
A Chihuahua.
What do you call a kid with Down syndrome who dresses like a merman? Posiedown.
What's the difference between a truck full of babies and a truck full of bowling balls?
You can only unload one of them with a pitch fork.
What do you call a fly without wings?
A walk.
Little Natalie was playing with matches. Her mother caught her, took them, whupped her, and told her never to play with matches again.
A few minutes later, Little Natalie was playing with matches again. The curtains caught fire, and the house burned down.
Another few minutes later, when she and her mother were sitting at their neighbors', her mother told her: "If you think I gave you a whupping, wait till your father gets home!"
Little Natalie just cackled with delight because she knew her father had gotten home earlier and gone upstairs to take a nap.
What’s big, red, and eats rocks?
A big, red, rock eater.
Why is sex like math? You add a bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs, and pray there's no multiplying.
If you turn Down syndrome upside down, do they have Up syndrome now?
What do you call an Autistic kid?
A work of Daniel.
What's a person with Down syndrome's favorite detergent?
Downy.
What do you call a cow jumping over barbed wire? Utter destruction.
What do you call a bitch? A dumbass, hahahahaha.
What do you do after you rape a deaf girl?
Cut off her fingers so she can't tell anyone.
What's the difference between Jesus and the baby I have in my basement?
Jesus died a virgin.
How do you get 100 Pikachus on a bus?
- Pokémon