Aed jokes
My friend wasn't laughing at my jokes, so I said, "Is your funny bone broken?" But he got mad, and then I said, "Do you have a bone to pick with me?" He tried to insult me, but I said, "Call me what you want, I got thick skin," and this story was down to the bone.
What does a butt do when it is angry?
Butt crack!
What do you say to a clock?
"What time is it?"
A man goes into heaven and there he meets Jesus. He asks Jesus what that broken clock is there for. Jesus says, "That is Mother Teresa's clock, it has never moved because she has never lied." "There is Abraham Lincoln's clock. He has lied twice so it has moved twice." "Where is Donald Trump's?" asks the man. Jesus answers, "It is in my office, I am using it as a ceiling fan."
My car fell in a ditch today. Didn't want any more cars falling, so I put a car-pet over it.
What's a gay guy should be scared of?
A straight gay!
What’s one thing that a gay person is scared of?
A gay guy that’s straight!
What dog can’t see a dog that’s blind?
What do you call a dog with no tail?
A tail-less dog.
Do you know a funny bus driver? I do.
Archer riddle has less atoms in his brain than he does in his dick, and his dick is 1/4 of a millimeter.
Which president has never gone to jail?
Lincoln because he's innocent in a cent, get it?
Robert Smith walks into a hospital. The nurse says, "We have the cure!"
Two tourists climb a mountain that utters certain doom.
One tourist falls down. The tourist that's still on the mountain says, "You ok down there?"
The other tourist says, "Can't I just rest in peace?!"
Q: Why did the chef get fired?
A: He took cooking advice from Hitler!
This is a bad day for me.
Do you want to know how to make a Smurf? CHOKE A MIDGET!
I hear skeletons like to play the saxaBONE, though I think the tromBONE would be better, but tibia honest, both can be HUMERUS, wouldn't wanna hurt your funny bone, but I think your starting to get BONELY so I'll stop pulling your leg. Now get out before I give you a bad time.
What did the policeman say to his belly button?
You're under a vest!
Free blacks in the Civil War is the same as me drawing a reverse card in Uno.