Aed jokes
A boy went to a costume party with a girl on his back. Someone asked him what he was supposed to be. He answered, "A turtle."
"Then why do you have a girl on your back?" the guy asked again.
The boy answered, "It's Michelle."
Why did the ox get kicked out of the herd?
Because it wasn't being an ox, it was being a butt-ox...!
There are two cows in a field. One says to the other, "I'm cold. Are you cold?"
The other cow says, "Yeah, I'm Fresian."
I searched on Google, "How to start a wildfire?"
I got 39,300,000 matches.
I made someone a PB and J sandwich... they died.
"Dick, you're fired."
"I'd buy that for a dollar."
What did the stop sign say to the street sign when he couldn't read a map?
"Can you give me some pointers?"
A retard walks into a bar.
Bartender: Hey, retard retard retard retard retard retard retard retard retard retard retard!
Thank you for listening to joke, sincerely - Jokeman87848584
How come when women decide to kill their unborn baby it's a "choice"? But when I decide to drive my car into a playground full of children it's called "murder."
A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette were all lost in the desert. They found a lamp and rubbed it. A genie popped out and granted them each one wish. The redhead wished to be back home. Poof! She was back home. The brunette wished to be at home with her family. Poof! She was back home with her family. The blonde said, "Awwww, I wish my friends were here."
A guy was annoyed in a store. I walk up to him and said, "What's wrong, buddy? Don't worry, it's not like you're on an abandoned isle!"
A man walks into a bar with an alligator and a stick. He walks up to the bartender and offers to put on a show for the bar's patrons in exchange for a drink. The bartender agrees, so he pulls down his pants, sticks his dick in the alligator's mouth, and starts whacking it with the stick. After he's done and gets his drink, he asks if anyone else would like a go.
A lady gets up and says yes, she would like a go, asks that he doesn't hit her with the stick.
What is a suicide pack's favorite song?...
Let the bodies hit the floor.
What do you call a person with no eyebrows?
Ms. Burgos.
A man and a woman are watching clouds together. The man says, “Hey, that one looks like a giraffe!” The woman agrees and says, “That one looks like an elephant!” The man sits up and says, “That one looks like a mushroom.”
What is so annoying? A younger sister.
What is yellow and can’t fly?
A school bus.
Stephen Hawking got an engine swap with a Nissan 350Z, and they said his wheelchair wasn't street legal :/
Stephen Hawking said God isn’t real, and the Priest put a boot on his tire. 😂😂😂
I have a really good construction joke, but I’ll have to post it later because I’m still working on it.