Aed jokes
My boss had the heart of a child.
In a jar. On his desk.
Why did the baby cross the road?
Because it was stapled to a chicken.
I did a walk through and walk home from school, and I got home.
What is a dog that does not walk? A magic dog.
What do you give a sick bird?
Tweet-ment!
If you put your foot in a pond, your foot will get wet.
No joke, I just wasted about 5 or 6 seconds of your life.
I sometimes want rampage, but what good would that do?
I look for a way out, but there's not even a light shining through.
The times where all is dark, are the times that I need a mark.
Though people say that nobody will care, the truth is: there's always one who's fair.
That person may not be the one you expect, but I am here with a passion to redirect.
Once there was a time where I tried to end it all, because I only looked on the dark side.
Truth was I wanted to be heard, to be respected, to let someone know.
But that was in the past and this isn't about my dark ride, it's time for others to know that only a few words, can extinguish a glow.
I tried my best to think of some puns, but I'm gonna have tibia honest: I don't have any puns left, but I'm pretty sternum, so I'll think of a few puns here and there. It took a lot of spine to do this.
There was a man. He came home with his friends from the bar and man was he ever wasted! Their friends made sure to get him home safely. The next morning, he woke up and found blood all over his nightstand. He called his friends and asked for his alarm clock back.
What’s red and bad for your dental health? A brick.
What’s invisible and bad for you to breathe? Mustard gas.
What’s green and bad for you to drink? Radioactive waste.
Q. Why did the cow cross the road?
A. Because he/she wanted to watch the moooovie.
Everyone is a gangster until Helen Keller hits a 3 on you.
Are you a wild girl, cause I want to catch you with my pokeballs?
Why can't an orphan go to McDonald's? There's no point in the words "happy meal."
An orphan went up to Nikola Tesla and asked to travel in time. He then saw his parents put him in a building, saying, "You now live here!"
What's the difference between a million dollars and a million dead babies?
I don't have a million dollars laying around my house.
What time is it when a nurse's here?
It's nurse-thirty.
Why did the Indian cross the road?
Because he opened a corner shop on the other side.
What can you do for a magic house?
Make it fly!
What has legs but can't walk?
A veteran.