Aed jokes
I took my mother-in-law out yesterday.
God being a sniper is so fun!
Why would a man spend his whole career at a barn?
Because it's stable.
How do you find a blind man at a nude beach?
It isn't hard.
Wow, Heaven's a lot hotter than I thought it'd be.
What does a pillow say when you live for a week? "Don't forget me!"
There are two types of faces:
The handsome one, but the wallet is ugly.
Then there is this personal face full of bumps, but even they lack a wallet.
What’s the difference between a girlfriend and a train? The train will touch me.
Why is James ugly? Cuz he do be a nerd with braces.
What does a priest and time have in common? They're both predators.
What do you call a shitty movie? One that fucking sucks and shits.
What does a rain cloud wear under her dress?
Thunderwear.
Are you a waterfall?
'Cause I'm falling for you.
You were born on a road. That's where most accidents happen.
Pickup line: Are you the internet? 'Cause I feel a connection.
Are you a train? Because I want you to run over me. :)
What do you call a bad bitch? You call them stupid bitches.
What does a cannibal call a pregnant person?
A Kinder Surprise.
Once there was a midget man jumping on a pothole saying 43, 43, 43. A kid walks up to the man and says, "Why are you saying 43, 43, 43?"
The man stops and looks at him, then he starts jumping again and says 43, 43, 43.
The kid asked him again and so on.
Then the man stops, opens the pothole, throws the kid in, closes it, and starts jumping and says 44, 44, 44!!!"
A suicide bomber's biggest fear is dying alone.
Why did the plane crash?
Because it was being flown by a loaf of bread.