Aed jokes
What do you call a green boner? The Grinch.
Today, I learned that a group of piranhas can maul a small child down to the bone in under 20 seconds. Well, I lost my job at the aquarium today.
My wife left me yesterday.
I haven't talked to the kids in a year.
You know, life as a pufferfish is tough. They get startled, then they get hard.
What is long, brown, and cures depression?
A noose.
What's the difference between a mole and a priest?
One will till your 13 to put hairs on your face.
Me: punching a kid.
My FBI agent: You're adopted.
My diet consists of Blood Pudding, I love it and have it for breakfast, lunch, and dinner, my secret ingredient though?
It consists of the blood and insides of my victims, it’s a bit chunky sometimes, some bits chewy, some bits hard, but it’s a hearty meal.
One day, the teacher asks a boy, "Why can't fish talk underwater?"
The kid says, "If I put your head underwater, will you be able to talk?"
Roses are red, That's a tin can, You have no home, So get in the van!
Other girls be like, "I want a 6ft guy", meanwhile I want to be 6ft under. 😃👍
What part of a vegetable is the hardest to eat?
The wheelchair.
How do we get a butt? God made us like that, and we can't change it. If you wanted to, you have to die <:
What’s the easiest way to make a glow worm happy? Cut off its tail—it’ll be delighted!
What is the difference between an egg and you? An egg gets laid, and you don't.
911 jokes are just plane wrong, my dad was a great pilot you know.
This joke probably flew over people's heads, but for some people it flew into their head.
Do you have a halo?
'Cause I can give it to you.
What's red all over and spins at 100 mps?
Baby in a blender.
How do you get a nun pregnant?
Fuck 'em.
A man books a session to see a therapist, as he claims he has a strong fear of the 15th, 9th and 3rd letters of the alphabet. So once the therapist, let's call him Frank, has jotted that down on his notebook, he says, "Oh, I see."