Adult Jokes

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

God: ok so I created adults. And I created how they are supposed to look like from being born to preteen. Satan:(slides in) I’ll take over for you pops. God: I dunno....this is very delicate work. Just one wrong thing can ruin the system. Satan: don’t worry your beard off! (Pats his back) I’ll just do the ages from 12 to 18! God: Hmm...I’m still not-(Gets a call on his phone) shoot I got to take this. (Answers call) don’t touch anything Lucifer! (Walks away) Satan:.......(just touches lightly and alarms start blaring. He squeaks and runs away) God:(rushes in) WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO?!?! God:(tries fixing problems. Only gets alarms off) fuck me........ God:....(sighs) fine it’ll stay. We’ll just call it....puberty

What do you call a grown up orphan? Homeless

happiness

What do u call a grown up with ur sister, ur best friend

Why is sucking cock inside the confessional booth the only thing that a catholic priest doesn't have to give up for lent ? Because catholic priests don't have to be vegetarians during lent

if someone calls you dirty minded just say

You are dirty minded as well if you understand what im saying

Why do we never make adult jokes in front of orphan Because the joke needs parental guidance

What falls and never gets hurt? Snow

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

It was pornography class, and there was a break.

Two adults were "having a good time" till the teacher says..

Teacher: Hey! SAY ALL THE NUMBERS TO 10,000 NOW!

Adult 1: How about I say my abc's?

Teacher: Go ahead, i guess....

Adult 1: A B C E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

Teacher: Wheres the D?

Adult 2: Inside me...

I asked my dad why a grown man would play Pokémon Go? He said “Wynaut.”

How do you trick a homophobic heterosexual male that is a roman catholic priest into using the glory hole inside the men's restroom at a gay bar? Tell him that it is a confessional booth

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 murdered 37 children and 41 adults during the ages of 31-35 years old. She was then sentenced to a 35 year sentence( Colombian stuff) and came out 70 years old. She then continued to go on a spree and murder 41 more people, in 2 months. 3 years later, 6 stabbed 7 as they were friends. 6 was not sentenced, but deemed a hero. He never forgets that moment. Her soul not floating above, but screaming from the torture it's receiving.