Adult jokes
Why did the polack lock himself out of his car?
Because his keys were inside of the ignition.
Why are orphans banned from the shop?
No adult to pay for them.
What's the Pixar movie close to being a pornstar? Toy Story... *I got a friend in me*
Q. Why did Josh Duggar cross the road?
A. There was a daycare on the other side.
Why is sex like math?
You add a bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs, and pray there’s no multiplying.
What’s the best thing about a blowjob?
The silence.
What do feminists and tampons have in common?
They're both stuck-up cunts.
Bye, I'm Paul Badman. Did you know that you don't have rights? The Articles of Confederation say you don't, and so do I. I believe that until proven innocent, every woman, man, and adult in this country is guilty. And that's why I don't fight for you, Santa Fe!
Kid: I forgot to flush the toilet, sorry I just forgot.
Adult: Just like your parents forgot YOU 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Why did the Polish urologist cut his cock off with a knife?
To take care of his erectile dysfunction.
Why is Santa always so happy? Because he knows where all the naughty girls live.
Whoever invented religions, they fucked up.
We got all kinds of retarded adults believing in mythologies.
NASA stands for... National Adult S3x Association.
Kid: Hey, why am I an orphan?
Adult: I don't know, ask your parents.
Why did the polack try writing a letter with his dick?
Because he didn't have a pen to write with.
Why did the squirrel swim on his back?
To keep his nuts dry.
What can a gay man not be, but a heterosexual female that is a whore can be if a heterosexual male gives her enough money? 💸
cock teaser
Why does Michael Jackson wear a white glove?
So he won't bite his fingers when he eats a tootsie roll.
Little Johnny walked into his house. He heard a banging sound from up above and decided to investigate. He opened the door to his parents' room and saw his naked mom and the woman next door. He thought they were wrestling and decided to join in.
What is the origin of the glory hole?
The origins can be found in San Francisco, California, where historians claim that a meat thermometer was sticking out of a hole from both sides, especially the divider between bathroom stalls inside the men's restroom used for an anonymous massage for gay men by gay men in San Francisco, CA, in the Wild West.